The Measure of a Woman

 

Yvette Catoire Sehon

THE MEASURE OF A WOMAN
By Jim “Gymbeaux” Brown, September 1, 2026

 Measure of a Woman

 Not – how did she die?

But – how did she live?

Not – what did she gain?

But – what did she give?

These are the units

To measure the worth

Of a woman as a woman

Regardless of birth.

 

Not – what was her station?

But – had she a heart?

And how did she play

Her God-given part?

Was she ever ready

With a word of good cheer,

To bring back a smile

To banish a tear?

 

Not – what was her church?

Nor – what was her creed?

But – had she befriended,

Those really in need?

Not – what did the sketch

In the newspaper say?

But – how many were sorry

When she passed away?

 Author unknown

 

Yesterday I received a text message from a number I did not recognize. The message was not signed. It simply said it was a tragedy and gave me a first name. I recognized the name because it was a name you seldom ever heard. Since no one signed their name to the message and I did not recognize the number, I thought it might have been addressed to the wrong person and ignored it. 

Facebook posts began to appear announcing that a REALTOR was found dead. That is where the confusion began. As a former Real Estate Broker, my immediate thought went to foul play. At one point in my real estate career, I was responsible for 105 agents. The one subject that kept me up at night was Agent Safety. We have all seen the horrible aftereffects of a home showing gone wrong with the prospective buyer killing or seriously injuring the agent, usually a woman agent.  It bothered me so much that I brought in a former FBI agent who did a presentation to our team on real estate agent safety. His presentation was magnificent!  

Twenty plus hours after the initial text message, the truth of what happened eventually surfaced but during those 20 plus hours all sorts of comments and “opinions” were posted.  No one really knew for sure what happened, but it appears foul play was NOT involved. 

I had a requirement to go to the Post Office and on the way home I stopped at a real estate office owned by one of my previous agents. I could tell by the look on her face when I entered the office she was torn between being happy to see me and sad at some news, she may have just heard. It was the news she heard that I thought we all would eventually hear and yes, the deceased agent was one of my agents long before I retired in 2012. 

On my way home, I played the car radio with my playlist a little bit louder. Okay, a lot louder!  I  was saddened to remember the good times we all had together in my former agency that included the deceased agent. My mind raced through 20-plus years of history recalling various sales, seminars, classes, conventions, and office parties; it was a different time for sure! 

The most important emotion I experienced on learning of her death is in the last two lines of the poem above:  

But – how many were sorry
When she passed away? 

I am definitely sorry!  Unfortunately, too many people will focus on the first line of that poem: 

Not – how did she die? 

For me, I truly am saddened that she passed away. I am also saddened that since I retired in 2012, I failed to stay connected with her as much as I should have. Failing to maintain contact is on me. As usual, there is “life lesson” involved, no one knows what is happening in another person’s life unless you talk to them and they talk to you. She needed someone to talk to, someone who would listen without judgement. Someone who cares what happens next. Someone who would speak with caution as to what they say to her when she was most vulnerable. Who is that someone in your life? To whom are YOU that someone for? You can be competitive and you can at the same time be friends; you tell me which relationship is the most valuable? 

It is time for good thoughts.  Mahatma Gandhi has it right! 

"Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words.  
Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior.
Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits.
Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny." 

Become that person with the positive attitude that others may seek out during their time of need.  Eventually we all enter that period in our lives when we cannot do it by ourselves! 

Rest in peace Buddy!