Are You F#cking Sh#ting Me?

Are You F#cking Sh#ting Me?

By Jim "Gymbeaux" Brown, January 7, 2017

What was the first thing you thought of when you read the title to this Nugget?  What was the second thing?  And finally what was the third thing?  I wanted to title this Nugget, Civility – a thing of the past.  I was afraid no one would read it.  Even now some may stop reading at this very point in the Nugget.  So what did you just think of?

1. What F#$king meant, and you actually thought of the word that I was attempting to convey.
2. What Sh#ting meant, and you actually thought of the word that I was attempting to convey.
3. What on Earth is this all about?
4. Maybe a 4^th, what was he thinking about when it titled this one? 

What would you have thought if I had used the word “friggin?”  You know what you would have thought.  It is no different than making reference to “the N word.”  What did you just think?  Did not think of what the phrase “The N word” meant?  If so, why not just use it?  Answer, it’s just not the right thing to do is it not?  Yet even saying it is not the right thing to do, have we not just done it by writing it or saying it?  Isn’t that what you did, fell in the missing letters?  Who are we kidding?

Is it just me or have you noticed how often you see people not even bothering to disguise the word Sh#t, instead they actually type out the word on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, etc.?  It is happening more frequently than ever before along with a lot of other “4 letter words”, and isn’t “4 letter words” doing the same thing?  I just used that phrase and you are probably thinking of the four letter words I referred to.

What is accomplished when you use symbols instead of actual letters when typing out a W##d?  Your mind immediately inserts the correct letters and thinks of the actual word.  So why use symbols instead of the actual W$$d when the result is the same thing?

People think they are being “civil” by using the symbols as compared to typing out the actual word.  But ARE they being civil?  If the result is that you actually THINK of the word intended, why use the symbols, why not just type the word?  Are they afraid someone like Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin et.al. might block them from future posts? 

I am old enough to remember that when watching television there was a window of time that no suggestive television shows/commercials could be viewed because someone in the government thought it was inappropriate to show such broadcasts while children were still awake and might see them.  Now we see them at all times of the day and night with little to no restrictions.  With each passing year the broadcasts, commercials and movie trailers become more and more suggestive and violent to the point they are no longer suggestive, they just come right out and say what they mean.

This Saturday morning I awoke early by my dog at 4:30 AM and could not go back to sleep.  I checked Facebook to see what was happening after yesterday’s shooting in Ft. Lauderdale, FL.  I was shocked at the number of Facebook posts that indicated, at least to me, that a lot of people no longer care about civility. Instead of using symbols to complete f#ck, they spelled out the word in its entirety and apparently did not care who read it or whether they found the word to be offensive.

To all these people I ask these questions.  Would you use such language with your children or the children of your family members or your friends and neighbors?  When has such language become so commonplace and so acceptable that the infamous “everyone” now uses it to convey or enhance something they are saying in print as well as voice communications?  To those people who use such language, how would you feel if YOUR child used such language to their teachers in school?  I have two daughters who teach elementary school and I can assure you that children DO use such language.  Where do you think they get that type of language?  Some might say they get it from their fellow students.  Okay, where do those fellow students get that type of language?  They were not born knowing it; they have been taught it.  Who are their teachers of such language?  ADULTS or people who think they are ADULTS. 

Could I not have titled this Nugget, Are You Kidding Me?  What is the difference between the two titles.  In a word – CIVILITY; something that has become a thing of the past.

I remember when civility meant that a man while walking on a sidewalk with a female would walk on  the traffic side of the female to protect her.  It meant that a man or youth got up to give a woman or elderly man or woman their seat.  It meant a man opening a door for a woman or elderly man or woman.  It meant NOT using foul language ever but especially in the presence of a child and/or woman.  Civility also meant letting another car merge into traffic.  Civility meant not parking in a handicapped space when you are not handicapped.  Civility meant returning an item that you decided you did not want in your shopping basket to its rightful shelf or refrigerated space instead of leaving on the nearest shelf in the grocery store.

At some point in my lifetime most Americans, certainly not you, (I cannot speak for other countries) have become more of a “what’s in it for me” to “it’s all about me” society and the heck (I could have said Hell) with others?  When was the last time a stranger on the street just said “Hello” or “Hi” to you?  When was the last time YOU said “Hello” or “Hi” to a stranger on the street?  Want to have some fun?  Try it and watch the stranger smile – they almost always do.  How would you react if a stranger said “Hello” or “Hi” to you?  You would smile; you know you would.

Would you use foul language with a stranger?  Doubt it!  In fact I seriously doubt it!  So why do people now think it is permissible to use foul language on social media like Facebook?  Do they personally know everyone on Facebook?  Can they honestly call each person on Facebook a “friend?”  They may be able to call them a social media friend but can they call everyone of them a “real” friend?  Doubt it.  So why do they, certainly not you, think it is permissible to use foul language with a social media friend?  Is it possible that those social media friends may find such language offensive?  If you KNEW that someone found foul language offensive, would you use it when you communicate with them face-to-face?  I doubt it?  Why has Common Sense been forgotten when it comes to Social Media?  In case you have not been paying attention, it HAS BEEN forgotten just as CIVILITY has been forgotten.  Don’t think so?  Scroll through the Facebook posts and judge for yourself.  If you see something that offends you but might be funny, would you repost it?  Some will, some won’t.  Would you?  If not, why not?  Could it be that you know it is simply not the right thing to do?

Over 200 years ago a famous American, President George Washington, maintained a list of things he called The Rules of Civility.  While the language may be a bit unusual, it was common language in Washington’s time.  There are 110 such rules that you can read on the web site http://www.foundationsmag.com/civility.html   I believe that if Washington were alive today he would have included several more rules regarding the use of cell phones, tablets and computers and even more referring to drivers.  If rules such as Washington’s are NOT taught in the home, and they are not taught in our schools, where will our children learn “the right thing to do?”