The Age In My Eyes

Nuggets For The Noggin
The Age In My Eyes

By Jim "Gymbeaux" Brown April 5, 2013

Today is like so many days gone by and the routine began as like so many other days as I looked in the mirror but much to my surprise, today for the first time in over 69 years I saw the white in my hair, the age in my eyes (lyrics of Amanda, sort of) and the wrinkles on my face.  I could not help but ask, where has the time gone?  It seemed like yesterday (it was actually 60 years ago) when I was so proudly donning my Plakie Toys Little League Baseball uniform getting ready for a game.  As for today - well today let's just say instead of a donning a uniform I am getting ready for "another day in paradise" (however you define "paradise") - so to speak.

Was it a coincidence today when I read a Facebook post that read "If you are not reading a minimum of 25 non-fiction books a year, you are falling behind personally and professionally?"  Someone added to the post asking the question as to when you would have enough time to accomplish that task as if we only have time for certain things (meaning more desirable things) and reading is not one of them?   That too caused me to look back over my 69 years and realized that until the age of 39 (30 years ago) the ONLY material I read was related to my job in the U. S. Coast Guard where I would read personnel manuals, Coast Guard Instructions and Federal Regulations; not what you would call exciting or even enlightening reading.

I knew that my Coast Guard days were numbered and I had to seriously consider what I was going to do with the rest of my life; I choose a career in real estate.  I had been a part time real estate salesman while in the Coast Guard and upon leaving the Coast Guard it was time for a full time career.  Surprisingly I was offered a management position at a real estate company.  Suddenly am old proverb seemed to come true: "When the student is ready the teacher shall appear" and that teacher appeared in my life.  Two weeks before I was to start my new position I saw an ad for a cassette tape entitled Creating Teamwork by Lee Shelton.  I will forever be indebted to Lee for his suggestion to read "I'm Okay; You're Okay"; he said you should read it every six months or so.  I did not read it ever six months but did read it more than once.  The important lesson learned from the book was that I desperately needed to read; and read I did.  Over the next 30 years I have read over 1000 books or 33 books a year on average.  I had initially set a goal to read one book a month forever!  Once I started to read (non-fiction books) it quickly became obvious to me that many people who have already achieved the success I desired had left such obvious clues to their success - they were like bread crumbs (or M&Ms if you will) on a path one might leave to find their way (obviously I prefer the M&Ms).

As for today?  Today I can clearly see the age in my eyes and realize that the road I have yet to travel is far shorter than the road I have already traversed.  That is when the sadness overwhelmed me. Not because my remaining path may be short but rather that I realized of all the life lessons I had learned,  all the mistakes I had made and more importantly all the information I had learned and/or experienced may soon if not already be for naught.  Why do I feel this way?  Let me explain.

I served in the U. S. Coast Guard for twenty years and when I retired, all that I had learned may have helped me personally in my life that followed but served little purpose for those shipmates I had left behind.  With each passing day my time spent in the Coast Guard faded to where few if any current members even know I had been there.  I then spent 33 years in the real estate business making sales and training others and again when I retired, all that I had learned may help me on my path to wherever it is going to take me but with each passing day will do very little for those I left behind in the real estate business.  Eventually there will be little evidence that I had even been there.  Suddenly - it just saddened me.  Millions upon millions of people who day in and day out (whatever that means) lived lives and performed their responsibilities hopefully with honesty and integrity to the best of their ability and when that part of their lives is complete, few people will remember them or their lessons and the crumbs (M&Ms) they left begin to dissolve more and more with each day that passes. 

I understand that I am no different than most children in regards to how they relate to their parents - I knew it all when I was growing up when in fact I knew nothing but sure didn't want to let my parents know that I knew nothing. I knew they knew that I knew nothing and they did their best to let me know that I knew nothing without damaging my feelings.  In my mind my parents knew even less than I did.   Someone once said that his parents seemed to become a lot smarter the older he got and that certainly applied to me.  In fact my parents turned out to be pure geniuses.   Today it is not my parents that I am thinking of it's my children and their children and their children and yes even their children as I am now a parent of 4, a grandparent of 9 and a great grandparent of 2 and probably counting. 

I truly believe that my wife Diane and I have left a lot of M&Ms (she would probably prefer that I had used bread crumbs) for others to follow both in life and in THEIR businesses.  The problem with M&Ms is that people tend to eat them rather than follow them.  If the truth be known, it is easier to see and view the M&Ms as something good to eat rather than to follow.  Subconsciously the people may be eating the M&Ms and may actually learn from where the path may be leading them but more often than not, the M&Ms are simply eaten with no thought of where they might lead them other than to the bathroom scale.  I can't help but wonder what the value of those M&Ms might be had those who picked them up would have saved them (the M&Ms) and instead looked to see where they (the M&Ms) were taking them (the people who picked them up).  They were in fact "nuggets for the noggin" (sorry but I had to use that phrase).  If you simply ate them and then forgot them they served little purpose.  But if they were saved and cherished, they may have served to help with future decisions regarding the direction their life was to take.

It is entirely possible that over time the people I have come in contact with both in life and at work may come to the same conclusion that I have.  That people like my parents and those people who I have crossed paths with in life that I too had something to offer them.  I am not so naive to think that I know it all or that I can help everyone "to do what they do to do it better" (my personal life mission statement).  I prefer to think that my life experiences, my mistakes, and the millions upon millions of bits of knowledge that I have gleaned over time may or could help those who follow me to find their way in life rather than going it alone as so many people decide to do.  Hopefully they make a conscious or subconscious decision to use (instead of ignoring) my experiences and knowledge as a tool to help them on their life's path. 

Is it really better for everyone to "find" their own way, make their own mistakes as if the mistakes they make are somehow unique and only apply to them or would it be better to learn from others?  Others like me and everyone else who cross their life's path who have already experienced those so-called "unique" experiences that no one supposedly has ever experienced before.  Trust me, they have; of this I am certain!

Before you say it, I know, I really do know.  A. L. Williams has said, "All you can do is all you can do but all you can do is enough!"  But is it?  Is it really enough?  That is why today, the white in my hair, the age in my eyes and the wrinkles on my face truly sadden me for I know that my time is running out to continue to make a difference.  My best guess is that as everyone grows older they must have asked a similar question; have I made a difference and if I have, was it a good difference?  I found a poem that fits the subject of this Nugget; unfortunately the author is unknown:

Measure of a Man

Not – how did he die?

But – how did he live?

Not – what did he gain?

But – what did he give?

These are the units

To measure the worth

Of a man as a man

Regardless of birth.

Not – what was his station?

But – had he a heart?

And how did he play

His God-given part?

Was he ever ready

With a word of good cheer,

To bring back a smile

To banish a tear?

Not – what was his church?

Nor – what was his creed?

But – had he befriended

Those really in need?

Not – what did the sketch

In the newspaper say?

But – how many were sorry

When he passed away?

Author unknown

I do not want to assume that I could make the poem any better than it already is yet I would suggest another verse:

Not -what he achieved

Nor - how much did he make

But - how many did he help to find THEIR way?

How many achieved their life's desires?

Who by not knowing what he did or thought

May have traveled a good many roads,

To a lot of places they'd prefer not to go.

But instead arrived safe and sound

To exactly where they wanted to be

All because they took

The measure of this man.