TEACHERS; AT LEAST KNOW MY NAME!
By Jim “Gymbeaux” Brown, September 20, 2016
“The
most precious thing of all, however, if you have made the most of your chance,
is the uplift, encouragement, inspiration, which you have absorbed from your teachers, from your associations;
this
is the embodiment of the college spirit, the spirit of your alma mater,
it
is that which should make you reach up as well as on,
which
should make you aspire instead of grovel – look up, instead of down.”
From the Orison Swett Marden’s book, Pushing to the
Front
Marden’s
book was written in 1911. The
similarities between 1911 and 2016 as described in his book are absolutely
amazing! Granted, some of the numbers
Marden used are no longer applicable but the premise on which the point was
being developed are more valid in 2016 than they were or that Marden could have
ever considered in his wildest imagination.
I have become engrossed in the writings of Marden. You can obtain several of them free of charge
by searching Orison
Swett Marden (just click on his name and it will take you to Amazon.com or
you can go to Amazon.com and enter Orison Swett Marden in the search box) Word of warning, please do not be dissuaded
from reading Pushing to the Front due to its size; it is well worth the read
and you will or should want all your
children to read it.
In
the quote above, two words really struck a nerve with me and I have emboldened
them; “teachers” and “associations.” When Marden uses the word “association” at
least in this context he is referring to people
as compared to organizations because our friends (associations) can become
teachers in our lives maybe even more so than the teachers we encounter in our
schools. To this point, one need only
look at the thousands upon thousands of youths in 2016 who have turned to
crime. They did not learn such a life
from the teachers within their schools; they either learned it within their
environment at home or their “associations” on the streets of America.
A
case could be made that I had good, as compared to excellent, teachers in my
formal education that lasted 14 years with no setbacks. But here is the point that so seriously
struck me when I read the above Marden quote.
Of all the teachers I have had in twelve years of public school
education and two years of collegiate education, I have had ONLY TWO teachers
who now that I am 71 years of age, I can remember their names, ONLY TWO. One teacher was actually my High School Basketball
Coach, George Simpson; the other, the band director Mr. Horvath. Why can I not remember any of the English,
Math, Science, or Civics teachers et al?
Why do I remember Mr. Simpson the basketball coach? Because of all the teachers, and a coach is a
teacher, he was the ONLY ONE of TWO who let me be me but did so by insisting
that I play by the rules of the game of basketball and his rules as coach. There was also the high school band leader
Mr. Horvath who instilled the value of doing what you were expected to do and
be an integral member of the band (team) yet still let the creative juices
within come forth through music. Mr.
Simpson helped to develop me as a player in spite of my smallish size (5’10”)
on the basketball team and Mr. Horvath helped develop my music skills in the
band. I was not alone, all of the
players (basketball and band) looked up to and admired them as a coach and band
director and for the discipline they both taught us especially regarding
playing on teams.
What
about all the other teachers in my life?
Today I can recall none of their names, none! What does that say about all these people as
teachers? Years later, I doubt any of
them remember my name much like I don’t remember theirs. Keep in mind that as a student in High School
in the early 60s, all the boys could be subject to the military draft if they
failed to go on to college and this was a time when Vietnam was entrenched in
war and death. With so many young men
and women dying in the jungles of Vietnam it is quite possible they did not want
to know our names out of a fear of future loss. Who knows?
Maybe they just didn’t see any potential in me and therefore had no
reason to learn my name and be concerned about my future as an adult. I did not think of these things back in the
early 60s but I do now in 2016.
I
have two daughters who teach school and over the years they both have
demonstrated they remember most if not all of their students. Their students dramatically change in
physical appearance, yet they remember them as students once they get over the
physical changes that might prevent them from immediately recognizing them as
former students.
From
the above quote: “…is the uplift,
encouragement, inspiration, which you have absorbed from your teachers,”
as stated, I can remember only two out of all of my former
formal school teachers/professors who I can honestly say, “uplifted me,
encouraged me, or inspired me to bigger and greater things.” To set the record straight, I was not a
problem student. For the most part I did
as I was told and did it when I was told to do it. I was never a discipline problem. I recall it seemed like the students who
received the most attention from the teachers/professors, at least in my
classes, were at opposite ends of the spectrum.
They were either the “smart ones” in the class or the “class/school
problem” students. The students in the
middle appeared to be just the average student and didn’t warrant any special
consideration one way or the other.
Fast
forward to the U. S. Coast Guard. Not
only can I vividly remember my Boot Camp Drill Instructor, Chief McAdams (1965),
I can remember every person for whom I worked.
Whether they realized it or not, they became my most influential teachers
concerning all things Coast Guard and personal discipline. I know not if they remember my name or not; I
certainly remember theirs. These Coast
Guard people were responsible for the success I enjoyed in my twenty year Coast
Guard career and beyond. We were all
part of a team. Each unit was a small
team by some standards but also part a much larger team of over 35,000 Coast
Guard personnel all working towards several minor missions but one overall
mission of serving the United States of America proudly and responsibly. When one person became a problem, it seemed
as if they adversely reflected upon all of the Coast Guard. When one excelled, we all excelled.
I
did enjoy a lot of success within the Coast Guard. Now I wonder if the Coast Guard members whom
I was responsible for thought of me as a teacher. A person they learned from and who they now
attribute some of their success to as I do towards my Coast Guard superiors. I also wonder how many of the Coast Guard
people I worked for considered me as an asset who they learned from and helped
them to future success in the Coast Guard.
I was taught from the first day I joined the Coast Guard that if I did
my job and did it well, I was one less person for my superiors to worry
about. When everyone worked with that attitude,
the job for everyone became easier and done correctly!
I
also spent over 33 years as a Real Estate Broker. I was fortunate to have worked for a couple
of people who served as mentors in all things real estate and people
management. Unfortunately I also worked
for some who would take advantage of their own family member if it would
further their agendas let alone someone who they employed. In a way, that too provided very valuable
lessons learned of how not to act, how not to treat people and how not to treat
customers. I vividly remember those
names. Most of the personnel management
training that applied to working with real estate agents, I actually learned in
the Coast Guard. The real estate and
motivational training I received I learned primarily by reading books and
attending seminars. Books became my
teachers; not so much people. In my
years as a real estate broker, I have read well over 1000 books to help me
better manage people and understand sales and real principles and estate law.
During
my real estate career, I like to think I knew my place. I worked for a company owned by others. Therefore I was responsible to them as an
employee. But I also held real estate
licenses for upwards of 105 agents at any one time. As such I was personally responsible for
their actions as licensed real estate agents.
I felt that I worked for each and every one of those agents as well as
my employers. I had an understanding
with the owners of the company that my first priority was not the owners or
even the customers who bought and sold real estate through our company. My first responsibility was to my
agents. I was their teacher and mentor provided they permitted me to become
such in their real estate careers; most but not all did. It was really simple, customers came first
and they were represented by their real estate agent of choice. Real estate agents came first to me even
before other employees of the company for whom I was also responsible for. Then came the employees and then the owners
and everyone understood this and approved it.
If an agent successfully did his or her job, then I was doing my job and
since the agents did their job, and me my job, then the owners should be happy
because it was a win-win all around. The
important point is that my education and training came mostly from books and
the many seminars I attended and these were all by my own choice and selection.
Someone
once said, “Education” is what you get when you read the fine print; “experience”
is what you get when you don’t. In all
aspects of life you have to read an awful lot of “fine print” to get to the
actual meat of the subjects you are interested in. The problem as I see it is that in most “formal
educations” people are required to read, study and be tested on subjects they have
no interest in but are required as part of their particular curriculum. A great many students thrive in that type of
environment, but some like me do not. I
wanted to learn what is important to what I wanted intend to do as an adult. That is why I thoroughly enjoyed both my
Coast Guard career and my real estate career.
Neither one was encumbered with training that did not apply to my
careers. I have heard all the arguments
concerning becoming a more “well rounded” adult by taking all the “required”
courses to supposedly make that happen. But
what happens when someone like me takes the courses and has absolutely no
interest in the course or attempting to learn information that I know will
never apply to me or my desired adult career(s)? Simply put, I did not fare well in those
courses. Case in point, I was REQUIRED
to take a course on the study of pre-historic fossils. My college majors were Marketing and
Advertising. You tell me, where does a
fossilized Trilobite fall within my major?
It doesn’t and it never has yet I spent a lot of time studying material
of which I had absolutely no interest.
I
can easily identify and remember the people and names of persons most
responsible for my Coast Guard and later my real estate careers. Yet I can’t remember the names of my primary
and college teachers/professors. There
are two possibilities for this to have happened. First, I was not ready for them when they
appeared in my life and I think that had a lot to do with it. Secondly, they had a job they were performing not a calling. I know that a great many of my
teachers/professors failed to have that calling and instead were more
interested in just collecting a check than the development of their students. If they actually had a calling, I would
remember having more one-on-one conversations with them about helping me to
achieve my goals and frankly that did not happen. In the 50s and 60s we didn’t even have school
career counselors to help us achieve our goals whatever those goals may have
been.
I
believe that students are either introverted or extroverted; there is no middle
ground. Yes there are degrees of each
but all students fall into one of the two categories. The extroverted students seem, at least to
me, to do better in school than the introverted students. Until about the third grade I thought I was probably
an extroverted student. I remember
volunteering for projects and asking a lot of questions until one fatal day in
the third grade. We were studying the
planets. The teacher made the comment
that there was no life on Mars because it was too hot and limited oxygen for
humans to live. I raised my hand and
stood up as required to ask my question.
“What if the people who live on Mars are NOT like us? What if they like
it really hot and they take in carbon dioxide and give off oxygen like the
plants on Earth we just learned about?”
Those may not have been the exact words but they are close. Even today they make a lot of sense to
me. Sadly for me, they made no sense whatsoever
for my third grade teacher for she left me standing in my classroom and then
pointed out to the rest of the class just how stupid my question was and by inference
how dumb I was for even asking it. For
the record I would ask the same question today.
It was that day so many years ago and the actions of that one teacher
who changed my life forever. That was
the day I stopped volunteering and I stopped answering questions in class when
teachers would ask the class a question and expected them to answer. It was the day I stopped asking questions in
class because I did not want to be used as an example as to how dumb a teacher
perceived me to be. She might as well
have put a dunce cap on my head and set me in the corner for the rest of the
class or for that matter the rest of my formal education.
It
has been my experience that most teachers, at least the ones I had, expect you
to “color within the lines.” They have
an agenda, a curriculum that they must follow and do not like when someone wants
to deviate from that agenda/curriculum.
Thinking outside the box was a forbidden activity as I grew up. Instead of encouraging the creative students
who routinely think outside the box, they pushed them down and even penalized
them if they did try to color outside the lines. Another case in point happened in a college
debate class. I was assigned the subject
of Communism and I was to take the side of being in favor of it. I failed that particular assignment because
the professor “didn’t agree with what I had said.” I was under the impression I was going to be
graded on my presentation, not on the content.
So not only was I REQUIRED discuss/sell something I did not believe in,
I had to discuss it in terms of what the professor believed. How was I supposed to have known that?
What
does all this have to do with you?
Believe it or not, you are a teacher or mentor for others; it may not be
obvious to you but you are. People watch
you, they listen to you and therefore they make decisions one way or the other
based on what they see and hear. Words mean things. If you call your son, daughter, student, or employee
stupid, yes I have heard people do that, that one word will forever be embedded
in their subconscious mind. If you call
them ugly, disrespectful, deceitful, a liar, etc, you are planting words within
that subconscious mind that they will never forget and will then come to the
conscious mind when they least expect them to.
People oftentimes make life decisions based on words and/or phrases
residing within the subconscious mind and they have no idea why they make those
decisions. If someone is afraid of
success, it may have been something as simple as being told they will never
amount to anything (if they don’t do what they were told by parents, teachers
or associations). Or if you are told
that you are a jerk, your subconscious mind will find a way to make that come
to life within you and you really will become a jerk.
One
of the best training classes I have ever attended was conducted by Dr. Morris
Massey. He taught us that “you are what
you are because of what you were when you were ten.” In short he was providing proof that most
people develop consciously and more importantly subconsciously their values and
principles all by the age of ten based upon what they are taught by parents,
associations and teachers. By ten, he
meant ten plus or minus two years meaning as low as eight or as high as
twelve. At first you may not agree with
that but if or when you see Dr. Massey’s presentation it makes all the sense in
the world. If you grow up in a loving
and caring family, chances are you will become a loving and caring adult. If you grow up in an environment of abuse,
verbal and physical, and/or surrounded by crime, chances are you will become
that in your adult life. As a ten year
old, parents, teachers and associations are the people who you come to trust,
rightfully or wrongfully, but trust them you do. Then as you enter your teen years, you attempt
to validate what you have been taught and that is when you experiment with
those teachings. Then you discover that
some of what you had been taught is not necessarily true. A perfect example of this is racism. Children are not born racists; that is a
trait they learn from their parents or even some of their teachers and definitely
their associations and it starts at the earliest of ages. And less we forget racism works both ways;
whites hating blacks, and blacks hating whites.
Most of that type of racism is taught within the home and you learn it
well all before you are ten years old.
Whether
you are talking to one of your children, someone else’s child, a spouse, an employee
or a fellow associate, WORDS MATTER
and they MATTER GREATLY. Choose
your words WISELY! Show people that
you truly care about them and their futures.
If you become upset or agitated, take a deep breath and respond rather
than immediately reacting and then saying something that could prove to be
devastating to the self-esteem of the other person. WORDS
MATTER and showing that YOU CARE,
MATTERS EVEN MORE!