A Random Act Of Kindness
by Jim “Gymbeaux” Brown, August 27, 2008
What is a random act of kindness? Exactly what it suggests, something out of the ordinary (although you could make it ordinary), something spontaneous, and something done without an expectation of a return.
I was not feeling particularly well so my wife and I went to the drug store to get something to make me feel better. I reluctantly passed up the wine and Jack Daniels (just kidding, not sure they even sold wine and Jack Daniels). As I walked down the Halloween isle, I saw a woman with a walking cane, the kind with the four feet on the bottom. She was holding her cane under her arm as she examined a “rubber thing” which is the best way to describe whatever it was she was holding. It looked like a hedge hog but since very few people have ever seen a hedge hog, let me describe what she was holding. First, it was a light shade of green, about 10 inches long. Appeared to have two eyes at one end and it had hundreds of rubber tentacles protruding from its body. I laughed and said, “Can’t imagine going on living without one of those things.” She instantly responded, “Maybe I ought to get a case, what do you think?” I responded, “Works for me” and went about my business but with a smile on my face. As I turned and looked back I swear I saw her walk down the isle with a spring in her step. A random act of kindness? Maybe so, may not but I truly believed we both felt better after the 30 second conversation. But it got better.
As I was checking out the clerk gave me the price that ended in 4 cents. She asked, “Do you have 4 cents?” What happened next took place in no more than 2 seconds and I was not sure what happened as it occurred. I asked my wife if she had 4 cents and before I knew what happened, a hand reached around and handed me a nickel. A man and his daughter had passed the moment the clerk asked if I had 4 cents. Without breaking stride he reached into his pocket, pulled out a nickel and handed it to me. To be honest, I did not even see his face nor did I see his daughter. I said “Thank you” to the stranger.
I paid my bill and ran out the front door and saw the gentleman getting into his car, still did not see his daughter. I shouted to him (he was about 20 feet away), “That was a cool thing to do, thank you again.” It was then I heard (not saw) his daughter who said, “I have a cool dad.” I hate to admit it but I don’t think my kids would say they have a cool dad; what a pity.
I went to the drug store to get something to feel better. Do you think I felt better after my encounter with two total strangers in the space of about 5 minutes? You bet I did both as a giver of a random act of kindness (a conversation with a smile) and the receiver of a random act of kindness, a nickel. What I received can not be purchased off the shelf in a drug store or ordered on the Internet. We both went home feeling better about everything.
Can you imagine a world where everyone (that would include you) made it a personal goal to perform just one random act of kindness every day? Here are some examples:
• Just smile at a stranger and say hello.
• Pick something up that was dropped at a store and put it back
• Pay for someone’s meal without telling them
• Let someone into traffic with a wave and a smile
• Tell someone how much you appreciate them or what they did
• Write someone a note if for no other reason than “I was thinking of you”
• Leave a note or gift on someone’s desk with no reference to you
• Send someone a text message to their cell phone, “I was thinking of you”
• Send hand written thank you notes to everyone who helped you close a sale
• Help a neighbor without being asked
• Picking up the trash left on the floor around a trash can
• Picking up paper off the floor in a rest room (yuk!)
• Be a mentor to a new person without being asked; share your expertise
Sometimes your random act of kindness might even be going home when you feel upset so as not to share your misery with everyone else. But if you do, don’t share your misery with your family either. Here is a question to ask, “Do I brighten a room by entering or by leaving?” Would it not make sense to make it a goal to brighten a room by entering? If that is so, why do so few people work at brightening a room or someone’s life?
ACTION STEP:
Make it your goal that you perform at least one random act of kindness every day without expecting something in return.
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Thursday, August 28, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Empty Your Cup
Empty Your Cup
August 23, 2008
A young man had read all the books he could find about Zen. He heard about a great Zen master and requested an appointment with him to ask for teachings. When they were seated, the young man proceeded to tell the master everything he had understood from his readings, saying that Zen is about this and Zen is about that, on and on.
After some time, the master suggested that they have tea. He performed the traditional tea ceremony while the student sat at attention, bowing when served, saying nothing. The master then begun to pour tea into the student’s cup. He poured until it was full, and kept pouring. The tea ran over the edge of the cup and onto the table. The master kept pouring as the tea ran off the table and onto the floor. Finally, the student couldn’t contain himself any longer. He shouted, “Stop! Stop pouring! The cup is full-no more will go in!”
The master stopped pouring and said, “Just like this cup, your mind is full of your own opinions and preconceptions. How can you learn anything unless you first empty your cup?”
Many students have read volumes about their profession. They come to a lesson with so many ideas about their business that they can’t hear anything that the instructor has to say. They come to the lesson with a full cup.
The empty cup approach does not mean giving up your intelligence and following blindly. The point is to receive everything that’s taught in an open way, withholding judgment about it until you’ve tried it for a while. Try your best to understand what is being communicated, and then give it a fair chance to see whether or not it works for you.
Shumryu Suzuki Roshi, a great Zen master, said, “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities; in the expert’s mind there are few.” A beginners’ mind is a mind that is open, eager to learn, an empty cup. If your mind is open, empty of preconceptions, it is always inquisitive, receptive to whatever arises, and ready to engage.
Whether we practice meditation, sales or anything else, at first our experience is fresh and illuminating. When we begin, we have no thoughts of having already accomplished something. Then we can learn. But after a while, it can get stale. We may think we know something and lose our motivation. Our cup starts to fill, and there is less room for something new. When we become aware that this is happening, we can take a fresh start and return to a beginners mind. We may find it challenging to keep to our beginner’s mind; but it is so worthwhile. With a beginner’s mind we can learn from everyone and everything we encounter.
Ben Hogan, perhaps the best golf ball-striker of all time with the most precise swing ever; yet he never tired of practice. In fact, he delighted in it. That’s because he believed there was always more to learn. He always had a beginner’s mind.
If there is one thing I am certain of, most people in business are reluctant to practice, to role play. In this regard let me explain why role playing is so important. Every time you role play you lead yourself to a successful conclusion. Time after time you achieve success through your role playing. What most people fail to realize is that the subconscious mind is accepting success at every role playing session. The subconscious mind then “expects” you to be successful when you are engaged in the “real thing” and then find ways to make the successful actually happen. That is what professionals in any profession do – they expect success and their subconscious makes it happen.
FOUR KINDS OF STUDENTS
There is a saying, “Sales can’t be taught; it can only be learned.” That does not mean we can go without instruction. The point is that no matter how good the instruction is; it is only as useful as the student’s interest and effort in learning. In describing the learning process, the Buddhist teachings once again make use of the metaphor of the cup. Four types of cups symbolize four kinds of students. Instruction is symbolized by water being poured.
The first cup is upside down. This represents a student who is supposedly there to learn, but pays no attention. You may have experienced something similar while reading a book; your eyes move across the words all the way down the page, but when you get to the bottom, you realize you were daydreaming and have no idea what you read. That’s what happens when a cup is turned upside down. No matter how much is poured, nothing gets in.
The second cup is right side up, but has a hole in the bottom. We hear what’s being taught, but we forget it all too soon. We don’t chew on it and digest it and take it to heart. For example, we might attend a class and when we get home, be asked by a fellow associate or friend, “What did they teach?” And we say, “Um, well, it was…Actually, I don’t remember but I know it was good.” This is the classic case of “in one ear and out the other.”
The third cup is right side up and doesn’t have a hole in it, but the inside is covered with dirt. When the clear water of instruction s poured in, the dirt makes it cloudy. This symbolizes the way we can distort what we hear, interpreting and editing it to fit into our preconceived ideas or opinions. Nothing new is actually learned. When we take a lesson, if the instruction matches how we already see things, it is taken as confirmation. Anything new that doesn’t match our opinion is resisted, ignored, or disregarded.
The fourth cup represents the ideal way to be a student. It is upright, receiving what it taught. It has no holes, retaining what is taught. It is clean, open to learning something new. To whatever extent you can and should be like the fourth cup.
Most students profess to “want” to improve their business. When people find out that I coach the mental game, many of them say, “Boy do I need that.” But most are not really interested in learning – instead they (certainly not you) are like upside-down cups.
Sometimes at the end of class, before the students actually go out into the business world, I emphasize a particular thing to do in connection with every opportunity. Later when I ask how it went, most of the group had forgotten to do it al all - right through the bottom of the cup.
When people come back for a second lesson (which rarely happens), I ask about the practice I gave them to do. The descriptions are sometimes so different from what was said that I barely recognize them. Those cups already had a whole lot in them that got mixed up with what was taught.
But it is delightful when someone who, like the fourth type of cup, comes back and describes the results of working on what we discussed, and has even begun to apply the instruction to other aspects of his or her business.
The most gratifying experience of all is when a student says, “Wait a minute, Gymbeaux. This has to do with a lot more than sales, doesn’t it?”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Now if you were paying attention, you would have noticed that at the top of this Nugget there was no mention of “who” wrote the Nugget as has been the case in every other Nugget. I only wish I had written this. In fact it is the first chapter of “Zen Golf” written by Dr. Joseph Parent. I have substituted sales or business whenever the chapter referred to Golf which was not very often. I added a couple of sentences to reflect my own thinking on the subject. If I had suggested to someone who does not play golf that they ought to read “Zen Golf”, I seriously doubt they would have read the book. I think this Nugget points out that if you were to think of its contents in the world of golf, you would realize as I have that golf is very symbolic of life and life’s trials and tribulations.
This book is not only about being a good student but a student who is aware of their surroundings and who consciously attends courses, reads books and listens to audio training programs. I read a lot and I can relate to reading a page and having no idea what I just read. That is when you need to stop, take a deep breath, clear your mind and begin again. It helps to take notes and to underline important passages.
ACTION STEPS:
Learn to use a “Things To Do” and “Actions To Take” page whenever you take a course whether it is live or recorded. If you think of something you need to do while in a class, write it down under “Things To Do” and then immediately get back to the instruction instead of dwelling on the task. If you are taught something that you want to implement into your life or business, write it down under “Actions To Take” and then get back to the instruction. This keeps you focused on what is important rather then missing some important aspect of the ongoing training.
Take notes. There is magic between the eye, ear, mind and fingertips when you take notes. Whatever you write down you tend to take ownership of. Whatever you write becomes important.
People are generally NOT aware of their surroundings; life just goes on while things are happening all around them. There are opportunities that go untouched simply by being oblivious to them. Learn to stop talking and to pay attention to what people are really saying.
Always be a “beginner” with a “beginners mind.” By so doing you will always be receptive to new ideas that can work for you.
Read – attend courses – take notes - create a personal educational plan – practice – practice – practice!
August 23, 2008
A young man had read all the books he could find about Zen. He heard about a great Zen master and requested an appointment with him to ask for teachings. When they were seated, the young man proceeded to tell the master everything he had understood from his readings, saying that Zen is about this and Zen is about that, on and on.
After some time, the master suggested that they have tea. He performed the traditional tea ceremony while the student sat at attention, bowing when served, saying nothing. The master then begun to pour tea into the student’s cup. He poured until it was full, and kept pouring. The tea ran over the edge of the cup and onto the table. The master kept pouring as the tea ran off the table and onto the floor. Finally, the student couldn’t contain himself any longer. He shouted, “Stop! Stop pouring! The cup is full-no more will go in!”
The master stopped pouring and said, “Just like this cup, your mind is full of your own opinions and preconceptions. How can you learn anything unless you first empty your cup?”
Many students have read volumes about their profession. They come to a lesson with so many ideas about their business that they can’t hear anything that the instructor has to say. They come to the lesson with a full cup.
The empty cup approach does not mean giving up your intelligence and following blindly. The point is to receive everything that’s taught in an open way, withholding judgment about it until you’ve tried it for a while. Try your best to understand what is being communicated, and then give it a fair chance to see whether or not it works for you.
Shumryu Suzuki Roshi, a great Zen master, said, “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities; in the expert’s mind there are few.” A beginners’ mind is a mind that is open, eager to learn, an empty cup. If your mind is open, empty of preconceptions, it is always inquisitive, receptive to whatever arises, and ready to engage.
Whether we practice meditation, sales or anything else, at first our experience is fresh and illuminating. When we begin, we have no thoughts of having already accomplished something. Then we can learn. But after a while, it can get stale. We may think we know something and lose our motivation. Our cup starts to fill, and there is less room for something new. When we become aware that this is happening, we can take a fresh start and return to a beginners mind. We may find it challenging to keep to our beginner’s mind; but it is so worthwhile. With a beginner’s mind we can learn from everyone and everything we encounter.
Ben Hogan, perhaps the best golf ball-striker of all time with the most precise swing ever; yet he never tired of practice. In fact, he delighted in it. That’s because he believed there was always more to learn. He always had a beginner’s mind.
If there is one thing I am certain of, most people in business are reluctant to practice, to role play. In this regard let me explain why role playing is so important. Every time you role play you lead yourself to a successful conclusion. Time after time you achieve success through your role playing. What most people fail to realize is that the subconscious mind is accepting success at every role playing session. The subconscious mind then “expects” you to be successful when you are engaged in the “real thing” and then find ways to make the successful actually happen. That is what professionals in any profession do – they expect success and their subconscious makes it happen.
FOUR KINDS OF STUDENTS
There is a saying, “Sales can’t be taught; it can only be learned.” That does not mean we can go without instruction. The point is that no matter how good the instruction is; it is only as useful as the student’s interest and effort in learning. In describing the learning process, the Buddhist teachings once again make use of the metaphor of the cup. Four types of cups symbolize four kinds of students. Instruction is symbolized by water being poured.
The first cup is upside down. This represents a student who is supposedly there to learn, but pays no attention. You may have experienced something similar while reading a book; your eyes move across the words all the way down the page, but when you get to the bottom, you realize you were daydreaming and have no idea what you read. That’s what happens when a cup is turned upside down. No matter how much is poured, nothing gets in.
The second cup is right side up, but has a hole in the bottom. We hear what’s being taught, but we forget it all too soon. We don’t chew on it and digest it and take it to heart. For example, we might attend a class and when we get home, be asked by a fellow associate or friend, “What did they teach?” And we say, “Um, well, it was…Actually, I don’t remember but I know it was good.” This is the classic case of “in one ear and out the other.”
The third cup is right side up and doesn’t have a hole in it, but the inside is covered with dirt. When the clear water of instruction s poured in, the dirt makes it cloudy. This symbolizes the way we can distort what we hear, interpreting and editing it to fit into our preconceived ideas or opinions. Nothing new is actually learned. When we take a lesson, if the instruction matches how we already see things, it is taken as confirmation. Anything new that doesn’t match our opinion is resisted, ignored, or disregarded.
The fourth cup represents the ideal way to be a student. It is upright, receiving what it taught. It has no holes, retaining what is taught. It is clean, open to learning something new. To whatever extent you can and should be like the fourth cup.
Most students profess to “want” to improve their business. When people find out that I coach the mental game, many of them say, “Boy do I need that.” But most are not really interested in learning – instead they (certainly not you) are like upside-down cups.
Sometimes at the end of class, before the students actually go out into the business world, I emphasize a particular thing to do in connection with every opportunity. Later when I ask how it went, most of the group had forgotten to do it al all - right through the bottom of the cup.
When people come back for a second lesson (which rarely happens), I ask about the practice I gave them to do. The descriptions are sometimes so different from what was said that I barely recognize them. Those cups already had a whole lot in them that got mixed up with what was taught.
But it is delightful when someone who, like the fourth type of cup, comes back and describes the results of working on what we discussed, and has even begun to apply the instruction to other aspects of his or her business.
The most gratifying experience of all is when a student says, “Wait a minute, Gymbeaux. This has to do with a lot more than sales, doesn’t it?”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Now if you were paying attention, you would have noticed that at the top of this Nugget there was no mention of “who” wrote the Nugget as has been the case in every other Nugget. I only wish I had written this. In fact it is the first chapter of “Zen Golf” written by Dr. Joseph Parent. I have substituted sales or business whenever the chapter referred to Golf which was not very often. I added a couple of sentences to reflect my own thinking on the subject. If I had suggested to someone who does not play golf that they ought to read “Zen Golf”, I seriously doubt they would have read the book. I think this Nugget points out that if you were to think of its contents in the world of golf, you would realize as I have that golf is very symbolic of life and life’s trials and tribulations.
This book is not only about being a good student but a student who is aware of their surroundings and who consciously attends courses, reads books and listens to audio training programs. I read a lot and I can relate to reading a page and having no idea what I just read. That is when you need to stop, take a deep breath, clear your mind and begin again. It helps to take notes and to underline important passages.
ACTION STEPS:
Learn to use a “Things To Do” and “Actions To Take” page whenever you take a course whether it is live or recorded. If you think of something you need to do while in a class, write it down under “Things To Do” and then immediately get back to the instruction instead of dwelling on the task. If you are taught something that you want to implement into your life or business, write it down under “Actions To Take” and then get back to the instruction. This keeps you focused on what is important rather then missing some important aspect of the ongoing training.
Take notes. There is magic between the eye, ear, mind and fingertips when you take notes. Whatever you write down you tend to take ownership of. Whatever you write becomes important.
People are generally NOT aware of their surroundings; life just goes on while things are happening all around them. There are opportunities that go untouched simply by being oblivious to them. Learn to stop talking and to pay attention to what people are really saying.
Always be a “beginner” with a “beginners mind.” By so doing you will always be receptive to new ideas that can work for you.
Read – attend courses – take notes - create a personal educational plan – practice – practice – practice!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Don’t Be A Lollygagger!
by Jim “Gymbeaux” Brown, August 20, 2008
“Lollygagger”, a lazy person, one who lollygags; a slacker; or ne'er-do-well (I like that word, could have entitled this, “Don’t Be A Ne’er-Do-Well”)
Are you waiting for your ship to come in? Hate to be the one to tell you, ships don’t come in – you have to go out and meet them. What would happen if “your ship” was captained by a lollygagger? The chances of it coming in would be nil and none and you would wait your entire life for its cargo.
If “your ship” just set sail with no particular destination, you will wait forever for it to even come into sight let alone docking at your door. Captain Lollygagger would be at the mercy of the winds, tides, storms, crew and land masses that come between him and you. Captain Lollygagger was too lazy to research the navigational sea charts, plot a course, check the tide tables and even make sure he had a sufficient crew before he departed. Captain Lollygagger could also be called a “slacker”, or a “Ne’er-Do-Well” (still like that word).
Does any of this sound familiar? Some people (certainly not you) work at looking for the easiest way to make money; wishful thinking. Some people (certainly not you) take short cuts; few if any are truly short cuts but rather expressways to trouble. Some people (certainly not you) see their ship dock in the bay and fail to swim or boat out to meet it. Some people “hope” to win the lottery and as Dr. John Maxwell states, “Hope is not an effective strategy”, nor does it make much sense. Some people (certainly not you) would not recognize their ship if it did dock at their front door.
Each one of us has the ability through the mind’s eye to literally see our tomorrow as we want it to be. Wise people (that WOULD be you) see what they want and then unlike Captain Lollygagger find the education to learn how to get where they want to go. Gathers the crew (tools) necessary to reach their destination. Uses a great telescope to always stay focused on the goal and keep it in sight. Charts progress. And finally reports on his or her progress all along the way to someone who cares.
In this regard, I really like what Zig Ziglar says, “Are you a wandering generality (the 80%) or a meaningful specific (the 20%)?” He could have said, “Are you a lollygagger or a goal driven, laser focused, results producing successful genius?”
To put this Nugget into perspective, let me relate to you a story that was coming across the news as I wrote it. A sailor, sailing by himself, was about to lower the main sail on his boat without securing the boom. A wind caught the sail, swung the boom around and knocked the sailor into the water without a life jacket. He spent 12 hours treading water while the Coast Guard conducted a search for him. He was found and rescued. Question: Do you think the Coast Guard would have found him if they did not have a search plan? Do you think they would have found him if they did not prepare in advance for just such a problem? Saving this sailor’s life would not have happened without a very specific goal and then taking action to achieve it. Who would you rather be, the sailor (the wandering generality) spending 12 hours in the water hoping to be rescued? Or, the Coast Guard (the meaningful specific) trained and waiting to do what they do best? If you need help with the answer to that question, I would refrain from operating any heavy equipment if I were you.
Yesterday can not be changed, it is what it is. Tomorrow, now that is another story – it can be changed but only if you literally paint a picture of what you want it to look like. Then as Joy Tye teaches:
NEVER FEAR! NEVER QUIT! EXPECT A MIRACLE! . . . Joe Tye
I would then add, like Michael Phelps who just one 8 Gold Medals at the 2008 Olympics did:
STAY FOCUSED ON WHAT YOU WANT!
by Jim “Gymbeaux” Brown, August 20, 2008
“Lollygagger”, a lazy person, one who lollygags; a slacker; or ne'er-do-well (I like that word, could have entitled this, “Don’t Be A Ne’er-Do-Well”)
Are you waiting for your ship to come in? Hate to be the one to tell you, ships don’t come in – you have to go out and meet them. What would happen if “your ship” was captained by a lollygagger? The chances of it coming in would be nil and none and you would wait your entire life for its cargo.
If “your ship” just set sail with no particular destination, you will wait forever for it to even come into sight let alone docking at your door. Captain Lollygagger would be at the mercy of the winds, tides, storms, crew and land masses that come between him and you. Captain Lollygagger was too lazy to research the navigational sea charts, plot a course, check the tide tables and even make sure he had a sufficient crew before he departed. Captain Lollygagger could also be called a “slacker”, or a “Ne’er-Do-Well” (still like that word).
Does any of this sound familiar? Some people (certainly not you) work at looking for the easiest way to make money; wishful thinking. Some people (certainly not you) take short cuts; few if any are truly short cuts but rather expressways to trouble. Some people (certainly not you) see their ship dock in the bay and fail to swim or boat out to meet it. Some people “hope” to win the lottery and as Dr. John Maxwell states, “Hope is not an effective strategy”, nor does it make much sense. Some people (certainly not you) would not recognize their ship if it did dock at their front door.
Each one of us has the ability through the mind’s eye to literally see our tomorrow as we want it to be. Wise people (that WOULD be you) see what they want and then unlike Captain Lollygagger find the education to learn how to get where they want to go. Gathers the crew (tools) necessary to reach their destination. Uses a great telescope to always stay focused on the goal and keep it in sight. Charts progress. And finally reports on his or her progress all along the way to someone who cares.
In this regard, I really like what Zig Ziglar says, “Are you a wandering generality (the 80%) or a meaningful specific (the 20%)?” He could have said, “Are you a lollygagger or a goal driven, laser focused, results producing successful genius?”
To put this Nugget into perspective, let me relate to you a story that was coming across the news as I wrote it. A sailor, sailing by himself, was about to lower the main sail on his boat without securing the boom. A wind caught the sail, swung the boom around and knocked the sailor into the water without a life jacket. He spent 12 hours treading water while the Coast Guard conducted a search for him. He was found and rescued. Question: Do you think the Coast Guard would have found him if they did not have a search plan? Do you think they would have found him if they did not prepare in advance for just such a problem? Saving this sailor’s life would not have happened without a very specific goal and then taking action to achieve it. Who would you rather be, the sailor (the wandering generality) spending 12 hours in the water hoping to be rescued? Or, the Coast Guard (the meaningful specific) trained and waiting to do what they do best? If you need help with the answer to that question, I would refrain from operating any heavy equipment if I were you.
Yesterday can not be changed, it is what it is. Tomorrow, now that is another story – it can be changed but only if you literally paint a picture of what you want it to look like. Then as Joy Tye teaches:
NEVER FEAR! NEVER QUIT! EXPECT A MIRACLE! . . . Joe Tye
I would then add, like Michael Phelps who just one 8 Gold Medals at the 2008 Olympics did:
STAY FOCUSED ON WHAT YOU WANT!
10 Words That Can Change Your Life
by Jim “Gymbeaux” Brown, August 7, 2008
“Bam!” (not one of the 10 words), Emeril Lagasse and Batman to name just two who have said “Bam!” Bam (between the eyes) best describes what follows.
For years I have taught from the Keller Williams Realty playbook in regards to effective scripts. For example:
“It has been my experience that problems arise when expectations differ; wouldn’t you agree (shaking your head in the affirmative ala Zig Ziglar)?”
“With that said, how does someone win with you?”
“How does someone lose with you?”
“People win with me when they….”
“People lose with me when they…”
And then…I would add the following from the same playbook…
“What do you have a right to expect from me?” If I am not mistaken (after all I did graduate from public schools) that’s 10 words.
I had the 10 words firmly implanted my grey matter but being implanted and understanding their true importance is two different things. Recently I had a customer say those very same words to me. Can you imagine the shock in my mind (certainly not on my face, after all I am a professional)? A customer asked me, “What do I have a right to expect from you and, why should I list my property with your company?
Actually he was talking about my company and its associates. I ended the conversation with an unbelievable understanding of just what those words I have used really mean. It does not matter who is asking the question or what position that person may hold. Do as I did, sit and contemplate those 10 words for just a few minutes and I am certain you will come to the same realization that I did – those 10 words CAN and WILL change your life if used on a regular basis.
Wife to Husband: “What do I have a right to expect from you?”
Husband to Wife: “What do I have a right to expect from you?”
Employer to Employee: “What do I have a right to expect from you?”
Employee to Employer: “What do I have a right to expect from you?”
Broker to Associate: “What do I have a right to expect from you?”
Associate to Broker: “What do I have a right to expect from you?”
A word to the wise (that would be you) should be sufficient. Those 10 words when asked set the stage for understanding between two or more people. More importantly what kind of answer would you get if you asked yourself that same question? “Gymbeaux; what do I (Gymbeaux speaking to himself) have a right to expect from you (me)?”
Now for the real shocker…the customer asked me that very question and before I could respond (thank God) he answered it for me. Ready for the answer? Drum roll…………………
FOLLOW-UP!
Yep, that is what he said, FOLLOW-UP! It was not honesty integrity, experience, training, etc although these qualities are obviously important – it was FOLLOW-UP! He went on to say, he believes that in our society, well over 90% of people fail to follow-up on what needs to be done. You all know by now that I believe in the 80/20 rule so I rounded 90% down to 80%. That means that only 20% of the people you know (that would include you) follow-up on what needs to be done. That also means that 80% do not. So what are the chances that you or your customer has already encountered one of the 80%? Could be a spouse, a child, a parent, a co-worker, a customer, a broker (certainly not me he said with a smile); could be anyone.
That one conversation was one of the most profound and impactful conversations I have had in a very long time. I sat in silence for quite a while and thought about what the customer had said. If words mean things, and you know they do, I thought about taking it to an extreme. Instead of Keller Williams Realty Professionals, I imagined our marquee reading:
Keller Williams Realty Follow-Up Center
Granted this was just one customer. But how many times have you asked your customer(s) what’s important to them? What do they expect from you? What do they expect from your company? I am sure you have seen people break down the word ASSUME into ASS-U-ME meaning that when you assume something you make an ASS out of U and ME (sorry Mo)!
Think about that for just a moment. How many assumptions have you made regarding what your customer, spouse, significant other (hate that phrase), child, co-worker, broker, or team leader really want? How do you know if you don’t ask the question?
True story: We had never had a listing in one of the most upscale neighborhoods in Gulfport, Mississippi. As the broker/owner, I made a commitment to my associates that I would get a listing in that area within the next 30 days just to break the ice and prove it could be done. I obtained an appointment within 2 weeks in an area where only one real estate company ever had listings (at least it seemed that way). How I obtained the appointment could be the subject of another Nugget.
If you ever read a standard Listing Agreement carefully, it is totally one-sided in favor of the real estate associate and company. Seller agrees to list at a certain price for a certain commission and if the seller breeches the contract for any reason the seller can be sued. No where does the contract ever say what the real estate associate will do for the seller.
I was in competition with two other agents from two different companies; one was the dominant real estate company in this particular subdivision. I did my usual property tour taking notes throughout the tour. While on tour with the owner, I asked a ton of questions such as:
Why are you moving?
Have you ever worked with a real estate agent before?
Have you ever worked with real estate consultant before? (No one has ever said yes. As such I feel I am already ahead of my competition.)
What did your agent do that you particularly liked?
What would you like to have seen your agent do differently? (Expectations)
What do you have a right to expect from me? (I did not use those very words but rather words to that effect.)
Okay, I have to admit, I did not have training as to what I did, just did what I thought was the right thing to do. I took on the mindset that I was applying for a job and I was. The owners were going to literally “hire” me to work for them. This is where I separated myself from the competition. Considering the owner’s answers to my questions, I created a written Proposal and Plan of Action identifying everything I would do to hopefully cause their property to sell. Did I say it was written? The secret was that I first identified what the owners expected of me and then put it in writing and signed it. Of course the proposal included all the things the owners “expected” me to do and that I felt comfortable doing. But here is the key – if you say you are going to do something – do it or explain why it cannot be done.
This is what the owners told me happened. They elected to list their home with me. The other two agents followed-up on their appointments and then each asked why they listed with me instead of them. The owner outlined everything that I had put in writing. Then the unbelievable happened. According to the owner they both said something to the effect, “He can’t do those things.” The owner then said, he agreed to them IN WRITING. “Well, I could have done that”, they each said. To which the owner then said, “Well then why didn’t you say so?” By the way, the home sold in 28 days.
Here are the three rules that I feel will guarantee your success in any relationship:
Find out what is important to the other person,
Make the other person feel important; and then…
FOLLOW-UP!
So as your broker,
what do you have a right to expect from me?
by Jim “Gymbeaux” Brown, August 7, 2008
“Bam!” (not one of the 10 words), Emeril Lagasse and Batman to name just two who have said “Bam!” Bam (between the eyes) best describes what follows.
For years I have taught from the Keller Williams Realty playbook in regards to effective scripts. For example:
“It has been my experience that problems arise when expectations differ; wouldn’t you agree (shaking your head in the affirmative ala Zig Ziglar)?”
“With that said, how does someone win with you?”
“How does someone lose with you?”
“People win with me when they….”
“People lose with me when they…”
And then…I would add the following from the same playbook…
“What do you have a right to expect from me?” If I am not mistaken (after all I did graduate from public schools) that’s 10 words.
I had the 10 words firmly implanted my grey matter but being implanted and understanding their true importance is two different things. Recently I had a customer say those very same words to me. Can you imagine the shock in my mind (certainly not on my face, after all I am a professional)? A customer asked me, “What do I have a right to expect from you and, why should I list my property with your company?
Actually he was talking about my company and its associates. I ended the conversation with an unbelievable understanding of just what those words I have used really mean. It does not matter who is asking the question or what position that person may hold. Do as I did, sit and contemplate those 10 words for just a few minutes and I am certain you will come to the same realization that I did – those 10 words CAN and WILL change your life if used on a regular basis.
Wife to Husband: “What do I have a right to expect from you?”
Husband to Wife: “What do I have a right to expect from you?”
Employer to Employee: “What do I have a right to expect from you?”
Employee to Employer: “What do I have a right to expect from you?”
Broker to Associate: “What do I have a right to expect from you?”
Associate to Broker: “What do I have a right to expect from you?”
A word to the wise (that would be you) should be sufficient. Those 10 words when asked set the stage for understanding between two or more people. More importantly what kind of answer would you get if you asked yourself that same question? “Gymbeaux; what do I (Gymbeaux speaking to himself) have a right to expect from you (me)?”
Now for the real shocker…the customer asked me that very question and before I could respond (thank God) he answered it for me. Ready for the answer? Drum roll…………………
FOLLOW-UP!
Yep, that is what he said, FOLLOW-UP! It was not honesty integrity, experience, training, etc although these qualities are obviously important – it was FOLLOW-UP! He went on to say, he believes that in our society, well over 90% of people fail to follow-up on what needs to be done. You all know by now that I believe in the 80/20 rule so I rounded 90% down to 80%. That means that only 20% of the people you know (that would include you) follow-up on what needs to be done. That also means that 80% do not. So what are the chances that you or your customer has already encountered one of the 80%? Could be a spouse, a child, a parent, a co-worker, a customer, a broker (certainly not me he said with a smile); could be anyone.
That one conversation was one of the most profound and impactful conversations I have had in a very long time. I sat in silence for quite a while and thought about what the customer had said. If words mean things, and you know they do, I thought about taking it to an extreme. Instead of Keller Williams Realty Professionals, I imagined our marquee reading:
Keller Williams Realty Follow-Up Center
Granted this was just one customer. But how many times have you asked your customer(s) what’s important to them? What do they expect from you? What do they expect from your company? I am sure you have seen people break down the word ASSUME into ASS-U-ME meaning that when you assume something you make an ASS out of U and ME (sorry Mo)!
Think about that for just a moment. How many assumptions have you made regarding what your customer, spouse, significant other (hate that phrase), child, co-worker, broker, or team leader really want? How do you know if you don’t ask the question?
True story: We had never had a listing in one of the most upscale neighborhoods in Gulfport, Mississippi. As the broker/owner, I made a commitment to my associates that I would get a listing in that area within the next 30 days just to break the ice and prove it could be done. I obtained an appointment within 2 weeks in an area where only one real estate company ever had listings (at least it seemed that way). How I obtained the appointment could be the subject of another Nugget.
If you ever read a standard Listing Agreement carefully, it is totally one-sided in favor of the real estate associate and company. Seller agrees to list at a certain price for a certain commission and if the seller breeches the contract for any reason the seller can be sued. No where does the contract ever say what the real estate associate will do for the seller.
I was in competition with two other agents from two different companies; one was the dominant real estate company in this particular subdivision. I did my usual property tour taking notes throughout the tour. While on tour with the owner, I asked a ton of questions such as:
Why are you moving?
Have you ever worked with a real estate agent before?
Have you ever worked with real estate consultant before? (No one has ever said yes. As such I feel I am already ahead of my competition.)
What did your agent do that you particularly liked?
What would you like to have seen your agent do differently? (Expectations)
What do you have a right to expect from me? (I did not use those very words but rather words to that effect.)
Okay, I have to admit, I did not have training as to what I did, just did what I thought was the right thing to do. I took on the mindset that I was applying for a job and I was. The owners were going to literally “hire” me to work for them. This is where I separated myself from the competition. Considering the owner’s answers to my questions, I created a written Proposal and Plan of Action identifying everything I would do to hopefully cause their property to sell. Did I say it was written? The secret was that I first identified what the owners expected of me and then put it in writing and signed it. Of course the proposal included all the things the owners “expected” me to do and that I felt comfortable doing. But here is the key – if you say you are going to do something – do it or explain why it cannot be done.
This is what the owners told me happened. They elected to list their home with me. The other two agents followed-up on their appointments and then each asked why they listed with me instead of them. The owner outlined everything that I had put in writing. Then the unbelievable happened. According to the owner they both said something to the effect, “He can’t do those things.” The owner then said, he agreed to them IN WRITING. “Well, I could have done that”, they each said. To which the owner then said, “Well then why didn’t you say so?” By the way, the home sold in 28 days.
Here are the three rules that I feel will guarantee your success in any relationship:
Find out what is important to the other person,
Make the other person feel important; and then…
FOLLOW-UP!
So as your broker,
what do you have a right to expect from me?
Monday, August 18, 2008
Coincidence; Destiny; or Divine Intervention
Coincidence; Destiny; or Divine Intervention
Article by: Jim “Gymbeaux” Brown, August 6, 2008
There are four books and one movie I would like to recommend:
Book: “The Power of Story; Rewrite Your Destiny in Business and Life.” by Jim Loehr
Book: “The Little Green Book of Getting Your Way; How to Speak, Write, Present, Persuade, Influence and Sell Your Point of View to Others,” by Jeffrey Gitomer
Book: “Little Gold Book of YES!Attitude; How to Find, Build and Keep a YES! Attitude for a Lifetime of Success.” By Jeffrey Gitomer
Book: “The Way of the Peaceful Warrior; A Book that Changes Lives,” by Dan Millman
Movie: “Peaceful Warrior,” with by Scott Mechlowicz, Amy Smart, Nick Nolte, and Ray Wise and based upon the book “The Way of the Peaceful Warrior”
Book and Movie: “The Celestine Prophecy” by James Redfield
Of all the books I have read, why these (and one movie)? The enlightenment (for lack of a better word) came when I read The Way of the Peaceful Warrior. This was not a book that would have caught my eye on the bookshelf; it was recommended by my son-in-law. It did, however, sit on my shelf for well over two years before I read it. Once I started reading, it was difficult to put down. It is an inspirational novel based upon a true story. The main premise of the book and later the movie “Peaceful Warrior” is to always be aware of your surroundings, be IN the moment, and be aware of what you are thinking – it can and often does make a difference. When you become truly aware, activities that seem to be a coincidence probably are not and what once was a certain destiny can instantly change directions. The next time you meet someone for the first time ask, “Why did I meet this person, here and now? What significance did this meeting have – may none? What can I learn from this meeting?” People who have a servant’s mind (that would be you), would also ask, “How can I make this person feel important?” People with a “selfish mind” would ask, “What can this person do for me?” Remember, when you make it a part of your every day life to GIVE to others, you get in return ten times that which you give.
If you have read or seen “The Secret” you understand that the Law of Attraction tends to attract into your life more of what you think about most. When most of us trod through life (certainly not you), we miss opportunities that are presented to us on a daily basis. These opportunities can be something as simple as providing a smile to someone who at that moment needs a smile or something as major as a business opportunity. Yet when we fail to pay attention (be aware) we unconsciously pass on such opportunities.
Here is a perfect example. When most people get on an elevator they either look at their feet or the numbers passing by overhead. Rarely do they make eye contact with fellow passengers. An “elevator speech” was defined as “what you say to your fellow passengers when the doors to the elevator close.” Sometimes you need not say anything but simply look a passenger in the eyes and offer a smile as I did one day in New Orleans. Within a few seconds the two of us struck up a conversation and of course it turned to real estate because I was wearing my Keller Williams Realty embroidered logo shirt. People want to talk about real estate; this fellow wanted to talk about commercial real estate. This would not have happened had I not been aware of my surroundings and instead counted the shoelaces on my shoes or watched a series of numbers blink overhead.
People recommend restaurants, books, movies or events every day; how many of these recommendations do we listen to and take advantage of. How many do we even hear; most seem to go in one ear and out the other. Personally I have come to believe there is no such thing as a coincidence and that everything happens for a reason. So before I dismiss a passing comment or activity, I literally ask why this comment, activity, or person entered my life at this very moment in time. Such an occasion recently occurred when my friend, mentor and teacher Joe Tye recommended the book, “The Power of Story” that I purchased and read. If you decide to read this book, I would like to suggest that you first read it and then read it a second time but during your second read, work the exercises. It is a book about “your personal story” and who you tell it to including yourself and is it believable by those who hear it, ESPECIALLY you.
The coincidence occurred when I picked up the book by Jeffrey Gitomer “The Little Green Book of Getting Your Way” and began reading it for the third time (I read all of Gitomer’s books more than once – they are that good!). Most of Gitomer’s books are about sales and this book is no exception. Gitomer explains the importance of developing and delivering a “good story” regarding your product or service and presenting it to a probable buyer or seller. The two books mentioned came together when I read in the Green Book the following:
The principles of persuasive storytelling are having a meaningful message, making the story germane to what’s being discussed, being able to tell it in a convincing manner, and combining your theatrical skills with your presentation skills to add the element of performance to the presentation of your story.
You know what Gitomer is saying – to be successful in sales you must first believe in your product or service and then create a very meaningful message. However to win your customers over, you must then develop skills to tell your believable story to customers who initially do not want to hear it and yet eventually buy into your product or service.
“The Power of Story” is about the same thing but this time it is a story about you, what you believe in, and where you want to go in life. The two books are best read one after the other with The Power of Story being first. When you truly know YOUR story, it can be compelling and should be interesting. When you understand the “power of a story” you can then create the story you want to convey to your probable buyers and sellers as developed in Gitomer’s Green Book.
None of this has any value if you do not first develop YOUR STORY, believe in YOUR STORY about you and then develop the skills to convey that story to others and more importantly to yourself. Can you believe YOUR story? Do you believe YOUR story? How can you possibly expect probable buyers and sellers to make the decision to work with you when you have no story about you and your product and services that is believable to them? It all starts with you and your story!
I would then recommend that you read “The Little Gold Book of YES!Attitude” to put an exclamation mark on your learning by developing the proper attitude to tell your story to as many people as possible. A successful real estate sales career is truly a numbers game. The more people you can successfully tell your story to the more people will turn into probable buyers and/or sellers OR refer you to probable buyers and/or sellers. This is self-education at its finest!
“The Celestine Prophecy” is a compelling inspirational novel about danger and intrigue in the mountains of Peru. When I first read the book in the early 90’s I was not sure in the beginning of the book as to whether it was fact or fiction (it was fiction). The book became a word-of-mouth success in regards to sales. It was all about coincidences and how they were not really coincidences and to be aware of your surroundings because most if not all things happen for a reason. And speaking of coincidences, I was on Amazon.com looking for a book when the site indicated that people who bought the book I was researching also bought “The Celestine Prophecy.” I could not find my copy of the book and was about to order a replacement copy to read when I discovered they had made a movie of the same title. It closely followed the book and is very good and entertaining as well as educational. The book was so good that it became a constant topic of discussion for an online CompuServe Mastermind Group (before masterminds became popular) consisting of 33 real estate agents (including yours truly) from across the United States. The book details 9 insights about where society is evolving and how we can become aware of it.
I am going to suggest that some who read this Nugget For The Noggin are looking for something in their lives to make a change in their lives and this Nugget may be the “coincidence” discussed – remember things happen for a reason; this Nugget may cross paths with someone for a reason.
Article by: Jim “Gymbeaux” Brown, August 6, 2008
There are four books and one movie I would like to recommend:
Book: “The Power of Story; Rewrite Your Destiny in Business and Life.” by Jim Loehr
Book: “The Little Green Book of Getting Your Way; How to Speak, Write, Present, Persuade, Influence and Sell Your Point of View to Others,” by Jeffrey Gitomer
Book: “Little Gold Book of YES!Attitude; How to Find, Build and Keep a YES! Attitude for a Lifetime of Success.” By Jeffrey Gitomer
Book: “The Way of the Peaceful Warrior; A Book that Changes Lives,” by Dan Millman
Movie: “Peaceful Warrior,” with by Scott Mechlowicz, Amy Smart, Nick Nolte, and Ray Wise and based upon the book “The Way of the Peaceful Warrior”
Book and Movie: “The Celestine Prophecy” by James Redfield
Of all the books I have read, why these (and one movie)? The enlightenment (for lack of a better word) came when I read The Way of the Peaceful Warrior. This was not a book that would have caught my eye on the bookshelf; it was recommended by my son-in-law. It did, however, sit on my shelf for well over two years before I read it. Once I started reading, it was difficult to put down. It is an inspirational novel based upon a true story. The main premise of the book and later the movie “Peaceful Warrior” is to always be aware of your surroundings, be IN the moment, and be aware of what you are thinking – it can and often does make a difference. When you become truly aware, activities that seem to be a coincidence probably are not and what once was a certain destiny can instantly change directions. The next time you meet someone for the first time ask, “Why did I meet this person, here and now? What significance did this meeting have – may none? What can I learn from this meeting?” People who have a servant’s mind (that would be you), would also ask, “How can I make this person feel important?” People with a “selfish mind” would ask, “What can this person do for me?” Remember, when you make it a part of your every day life to GIVE to others, you get in return ten times that which you give.
If you have read or seen “The Secret” you understand that the Law of Attraction tends to attract into your life more of what you think about most. When most of us trod through life (certainly not you), we miss opportunities that are presented to us on a daily basis. These opportunities can be something as simple as providing a smile to someone who at that moment needs a smile or something as major as a business opportunity. Yet when we fail to pay attention (be aware) we unconsciously pass on such opportunities.
Here is a perfect example. When most people get on an elevator they either look at their feet or the numbers passing by overhead. Rarely do they make eye contact with fellow passengers. An “elevator speech” was defined as “what you say to your fellow passengers when the doors to the elevator close.” Sometimes you need not say anything but simply look a passenger in the eyes and offer a smile as I did one day in New Orleans. Within a few seconds the two of us struck up a conversation and of course it turned to real estate because I was wearing my Keller Williams Realty embroidered logo shirt. People want to talk about real estate; this fellow wanted to talk about commercial real estate. This would not have happened had I not been aware of my surroundings and instead counted the shoelaces on my shoes or watched a series of numbers blink overhead.
People recommend restaurants, books, movies or events every day; how many of these recommendations do we listen to and take advantage of. How many do we even hear; most seem to go in one ear and out the other. Personally I have come to believe there is no such thing as a coincidence and that everything happens for a reason. So before I dismiss a passing comment or activity, I literally ask why this comment, activity, or person entered my life at this very moment in time. Such an occasion recently occurred when my friend, mentor and teacher Joe Tye recommended the book, “The Power of Story” that I purchased and read. If you decide to read this book, I would like to suggest that you first read it and then read it a second time but during your second read, work the exercises. It is a book about “your personal story” and who you tell it to including yourself and is it believable by those who hear it, ESPECIALLY you.
The coincidence occurred when I picked up the book by Jeffrey Gitomer “The Little Green Book of Getting Your Way” and began reading it for the third time (I read all of Gitomer’s books more than once – they are that good!). Most of Gitomer’s books are about sales and this book is no exception. Gitomer explains the importance of developing and delivering a “good story” regarding your product or service and presenting it to a probable buyer or seller. The two books mentioned came together when I read in the Green Book the following:
The principles of persuasive storytelling are having a meaningful message, making the story germane to what’s being discussed, being able to tell it in a convincing manner, and combining your theatrical skills with your presentation skills to add the element of performance to the presentation of your story.
You know what Gitomer is saying – to be successful in sales you must first believe in your product or service and then create a very meaningful message. However to win your customers over, you must then develop skills to tell your believable story to customers who initially do not want to hear it and yet eventually buy into your product or service.
“The Power of Story” is about the same thing but this time it is a story about you, what you believe in, and where you want to go in life. The two books are best read one after the other with The Power of Story being first. When you truly know YOUR story, it can be compelling and should be interesting. When you understand the “power of a story” you can then create the story you want to convey to your probable buyers and sellers as developed in Gitomer’s Green Book.
None of this has any value if you do not first develop YOUR STORY, believe in YOUR STORY about you and then develop the skills to convey that story to others and more importantly to yourself. Can you believe YOUR story? Do you believe YOUR story? How can you possibly expect probable buyers and sellers to make the decision to work with you when you have no story about you and your product and services that is believable to them? It all starts with you and your story!
I would then recommend that you read “The Little Gold Book of YES!Attitude” to put an exclamation mark on your learning by developing the proper attitude to tell your story to as many people as possible. A successful real estate sales career is truly a numbers game. The more people you can successfully tell your story to the more people will turn into probable buyers and/or sellers OR refer you to probable buyers and/or sellers. This is self-education at its finest!
“The Celestine Prophecy” is a compelling inspirational novel about danger and intrigue in the mountains of Peru. When I first read the book in the early 90’s I was not sure in the beginning of the book as to whether it was fact or fiction (it was fiction). The book became a word-of-mouth success in regards to sales. It was all about coincidences and how they were not really coincidences and to be aware of your surroundings because most if not all things happen for a reason. And speaking of coincidences, I was on Amazon.com looking for a book when the site indicated that people who bought the book I was researching also bought “The Celestine Prophecy.” I could not find my copy of the book and was about to order a replacement copy to read when I discovered they had made a movie of the same title. It closely followed the book and is very good and entertaining as well as educational. The book was so good that it became a constant topic of discussion for an online CompuServe Mastermind Group (before masterminds became popular) consisting of 33 real estate agents (including yours truly) from across the United States. The book details 9 insights about where society is evolving and how we can become aware of it.
I am going to suggest that some who read this Nugget For The Noggin are looking for something in their lives to make a change in their lives and this Nugget may be the “coincidence” discussed – remember things happen for a reason; this Nugget may cross paths with someone for a reason.
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