CAN YOU HEAR YOURSELF?

 

CAN YOU HEAR YOURSELF?

 STOP IT !

By Jim “Gymbeaux” Brown, January 15, 2025

Question:  Do you write like you talk?  It’s an honest question; do you write like you talk?  For a lot of people, I HOPE NOT! 

Today I listened to a PODCAST interview between two people.  It was long.  It was extremely interesting and covered a lot of subjects.  There was a very glaring annoyance in the discussion that at first was simply annoying and then it became very distracting.  What was the annoyance?  I’m glad you asked.  Before I answer, I am going to rewrite this paragraph in the same manor that a great many Americans now talk.  

So, today I listened to a PODCASE like interview, you know, like between two people. It was like long, like very long.  But it was like extremely interesting and, you know, covered a lot of subjects.  But there was like a very glaring annoyance, you know, in the discussion that at first was like simply annoying but then became like very distracting.  So, what was the annoyance?  Like, I’m so glad you asked.  But, before I answer, I’m going to, like you know, rewrite this paragraph in the same manor, like you know, that a great many Americans like talk. 

Can you pick out the needless and sentence changing words; it’s not difficult to do?  More importantly, if you were to read the second paragraph first, you hopefully had the same reaction that I had listening to the PODCAST.  Why did the speaker insert those needless and very annoying words or collection of words into his speech or in this case, my writing.  Does the speaker write and the same way he uses the annoying words in his speech?  I seriously doubt it. 

It’s been decades since I conducted my last job interview where I was the employer asking the questions.  I am pretty sure that if a job applicant were to sit in front of me and we conducted a discussion regarding future employment and the applicant spoke like the second paragraph, I would have been disinterested in hiring the applicant.  For most employers, not all, promoting the company’s brand and image to the public is important.  Not only is using proper English important, a person’s handwriting is just as important.  Obviously, I cannot speak for everyone or every employer when I identify what I consider to be important factors that I used to hire someone.  Why did I include handwriting as being important?  If a member of my company were to take important notes or pass important information along to customers that required handing writing or printing notes or paper, I wanted the customer to be (1) able to read the notes/papers and (2) not be confused as to important things like times, dates, places and required actions because they are unable to read the employee’s or agent’s handing writing.  Having poor handing writing, a skill that can and should be learned, is as important as properly speaking which is also a skill that can and should be learned. 

BUT!  But is a word that most people do not recognize as being a wall-builder; yet that is exactly what it is.  I can speak the truth, word after word, BUT, when I insert the word “but”, it stops the mental processing of what I had just said or written.  Everything that I have said or written up until that point is mentally disregarded because the truth to the reader/listener is about to happen with whatever is said or written AFTER the “but.”  As an example, use this one sentence written twice and see if what I have just written is not true. 

“I hear (or see) what you have said BUT I think (or believe) that…”

“I hear (or see) what you have said AND I think (or believe) that…. 

In the first sentence the word “but” means that what you have said isn’t as important as what you are about to say.  In the second sentence the word “and” is used hoping that the reader or listener will understand that you understand what they have written or said and that there may be more information to consider.  Using the word “and” instead of “but” is a HUGE difference and keeps the conversation/reader continually engaged instead of being turned off or immediately becoming defensive. 

So, do you understand the difference between “but” and “and?”  Or how about rewriting this last sentence to read: “Do you understand the difference between “but” and “and?”  What is the difference?  The word “SO” has absolutely no meaning and when repeatedly used in speech or writing is once again, very annoying to the reader/listener who knows that it has no meaning and is used more out of habit than out of a practical use.  It is also rarely used in writing and often used in speaking.  STOP BEGINNING SENTENCES WITH THE WORD “SO!” 

LIKE  To me, this may be one of the most annoying words ever used, especially in speech because if the same person who just spoke the word were to write out the same sentence on paper, the word would be automatically deleted or it would be deleted using a better than average spell check program.  IT SERVES NO PURPOSE other than to detract from what is being said and when used enough, comes to the point that whatever is being said falls by the wayside because it IS so annoying.  Not ONLY is it annoying, it reminds me of clips we have all seen on television where young girls more so than young boys, insert the word “like” into everything they say.  Still, I seriously doubt that if they were required to write a paper that would be read or reviewed, the word “like” would rarely if ever appear.  Why is the word to dominant in today’s spoken language?  I have no clue!  NONE!  As I have said, it serves no purpose but to distract and even diminish what is actually being said.  No matter how credible the speaker may be, as in the case of the above referenced PODCAST, over the length of the PODCAST, I lost interest.  The ONLY way I could get through the PODCAST was to stop and then later return.  You may not believe that it what I did; believe it, that is exactly what I did.  In fact, I stopped three times and then later returned to finish watching/listening to the PODCAST.  Had the PODCAST contained less interesting material, I would have simply stopped listening and never return to hear it to the finish.  Had that happened in this instance, it would have been my loss because the PODCAST was extremely interesting. 

For the record, I did not leave it at that point.  The speaker provided everyone with his “X” identification and I wrote to him and simply asked him to review the PODCAST and count the number of times he used the word “like.”  If the PODCAST were not so long, I would have counted them.  Unfortunately, that would have made listening to the PODCAST useless.  I may revisit the PODCAST and listen for a period of just 5 minutes and count the number of times he says the word “like.”  Doing that would enable me to suggest to him that he has a  “like use rate of” “x” number of times used over a 5-minute period.  He could then extend that out over the entire 2-hour interview to ascertain how many times he may have used the word LIKE.  From that he may or may not decide to make a change in his speech patterns. 

I know that such usage of words such as “like” is done so out of habit, not training.  You cannot correct a habit if you are unaware that you are doing it.  As an example, when people constantly use the phrase “you know,” I interrupt them and say, “No, I don’t.”  They typically ask what I mean by that and that opens the door to explain to them that they had just said, “you know” and I am telling them that I don’t’ know.  They are typically surprised that they may have used the phrase and they have - CONSTANTLY!  This is very common among professional athletes.  Why professional athletes?  I have no idea.  I do know that such things as language, clothing, beliefs are contagious. When one or more people begin to repeatedly do something, others either consciously or unconsciously join in and do the same things. 

Being able to speak and write using proper English is a learnable skill and should be learned AND practiced at every opportunity.  People are watching and listening; it makes a difference!  If you are in doubt, record your own speech and review what you have recorded.  Compare it to what you may have written or would have written and see for yourself if there is a difference, THERE USUALLY IS! 

In regard to handwriting; two things stand out to me.  For much of my life, I have been complimented on my handwriting (cursive).  When writing notes and cards, I discovered the difference between using a fountain pen and a ball point pen.  On several occasions I was asked if I always used a fountain pen to which I replied yes, how did YOU know?  Then I was told that you can actually see the difference between the ink on the page between a fountain pen and a ball point pen and you can!  I also discovered the Pilot makes disposable fountain pens that you simply dispose of when the ink runs out.  They are very inexpensive and as such, I had no reluctance to giving a customer the pen and explained how they could acquire more if they liked it; they almost aways did.  In fact, when I handed them the pen to sign something they usually were very surprised and used such terms as WOW or FANCY to describe this very inexpensive ($4.00) fountain pen.  Over time I have become very sloppy in my handwriting and need to practice to get back where it is obvious to people that I care about what I write out as compared to printing out.  In fact, a lot of people over the years have referred to my penmanship as being calligraphy which it is not; I’ll take the compliment and need to get back to that degree of penmanship! 

MORE IMPORTANTLY!  Your children learn from you as they grow older, especially through the ages up to 10 to 12.  If you curse in front of them, they will probably curse as well.  If you use phrases such as “you know” or words such as “so” or “like”, they will use them as well.  After all, their parents can do no wrong, right?

Afraid To Stay

 

“Afraid To Stay; Afraid To Leave!”

By Jim “Gymbeaux” Brown, January 8, 2025

The title of this Nugget was heard on the news this Wednesday, January 8, 2025 and was said by a survivor of the firestorms ravaging Southern California.  It was heartbreaking to hear but I can attest that I can sympathize with her; as compared to empathizing with her.  What is the difference between Sympathizing and Empathizing?  You can sympathize with someone when YOU have experienced similar or same events.  You can only empathize with someone when you have NOT had the same or similar experience and therefore can only “imagine” what they are going through.

When Hurricane Katrina was bearing down on America, it was originally not headed to where I lived and I went on with life as usual.  That Saturday morning, meant I was playing golf with “the guys” as I always did.  When we stopped at the club house between the 9^th and 10^th holes that morning for refreshments, the news was on the TV and the storm had made an unexpected turn and it was headed directly at us.  We had only hours to make a decision to stay or to leave.  If we stayed, we would have to ride out the storm in our home.  Given the size of the storm as shown on TV, that was not a good choice.  If we evacuated, we might get caught in very slow-moving bumper to bumper traffic on the interstate system along with everyone else trying to do the same thing.  Being caught in your car was also not a good choice.  It was very similar to what the poor woman on the news said this morning when she said “We were afraid to stay and we were afraid to leave.”  

Now for the real purpose of this Nugget as an instructional tool that applies to everyone and is based not only on the California fires but also Hurricane Katrina and more recently the terrorist murders in New Orleans on New Year’s Day morning.    What do these three things have in common?  None of them were expected and the results were devastating and in at least two of the three, lives were lost.  As time progresses, sadly, the fires will probably have taken the lives of people who had no choice.  The real question that needs answering is, where they ready?  My best guess is that very few were ready for any of these events to occur so look at it in that regard and ask yourself, ARE YOU READY IF YOU ARE EVER FACED WITH SUCH A QUESTION? 

How does one prepare for a disaster such as the referenced events?  They are not the only events that require preparedness on your part, others would include but not limited to Fires, Earthquakes, Storms, Floods, Sudden Deaths from any number of sources and yes, even Volcanos (Mt. St. Helens).  You may have only minutes to make a decision that will affect the rest of your life or the lives of your loved ones as in the case of a “sudden death.” 

The Military constantly play “war games” based on a “what if” situation.  If “this” were to happen, “what must I do?”  Look at the California fires.  How many residents played the “what if” war game should a sudden fire erupt.  This is what I mean. 

If I had time, what would I take with me if I only had minutes to leave my home?  People obviously come first but remember, not everyone may be as mobile as you are.  Pets and livestock would be next.  As important as your pets and livestock may be to you, a very tough decision may have to be made to leave them behind if it means saving your own life.  If that is the case, at least give them a fighting chance and do not leave them in an enclosed building with no means of escape.  If you were to die, the pets and live stock would be on their own in any case unless you have arranged for them to be cared for by a third party.  Important papers like wills, power of attorneys, insurance papers and God only knows what other papers you would consider essential to protect.  Unless you have the time and the space in your cars or trucks that you plan to use to evacuate the area, items such as valuable or sentimental jewelry, family photos, art work, etc., will just have to be left behind, you may not have either the space or the time to protect them. 

My sincere advice requires that you answer questions based on the TIME you have available.  If you had only minutes to evacuate your home, what do you feel you must protect and take with you other than the people in your home?  Are these items available to you in a “go bag” or ready to grab suitcase on a moment’s notice like a house fire?  If not, they should be!  In this regard, this is what I would make absolutely sure you have placed in a fire retardant “go bag” that you can grab and run: 

·         Wills.  Hopefully you and everyone in your family have one.  There were a lot of both young and old people who died during all of these events, many never thought they were going to die at a young age.  There is not an age that is too young to have a Will.  When a person begins owning things, it is a good time to begin the process of maintaining a current Will and it needs to be State Specific since each State may have its own special requirements for a Will to be valid. 

·         Medical Power of Attorneys.  Who has the authority to make medical decisions on your behalf in the event you are unable to make them for yourself.  This can occur at any age such in the case of traumatic accidents or natural disasters. 

·         Medicines.  How long will you be away from your home?  You have no idea!  How long can you go without your prescribed medicines?  This is extremely important to me because I wear external devices because of previous surgeries and also take life-saving drugs (I’m diabetic).  Life would prove to be very difficult if I did not plan ahead to ensure that I had sufficient supplies with me as I evacuate my home.

·         Insurance Policies.  Having access phone numbers and/or websites is good but having access to the entire policy is better.  The policy is your guarantee that you are covered and what you must do to file a claim and identify what is covered and what may not be covered.  Most young people do not recognize the importance of having a personal insurance policy on their life but one only need look at the ages of those that have passed away during natural disasters as referenced or in the case of a “sudden and unexpected death” such as an accident or a medical event.  More importantly, the cost of such policies will never be as inexpensive as they are when you are young. 

·         Credit Cards.  If Hurricane Katrina taught me anything it taught me that I needed to have my credit cards with me when I had to evacuate.  It also taught me that it is good to have more than one credit/debit card with me.  Furthermore, it taught me that having multiple credit cards with high credit limits available to me was extremely important even if I never used the cards.  For example, if my home survived the storm but was damaged, I needed to have access to either cash or credit to make IMMEDIATE repairs to limit any further damage and that may require having immediate access to thousands of dollars in credit to tide me over until the insurance companies can provide the financial help that I would require. 

·         Purse and Wallet.  I vividly remember a local news reporter interviewing the survivor of a tornado that took out his home.  He said he took cover within his home but failed to keep his wallet with him during the storm.  When the storm had passed and he survived the destruction of his home, he had no way of starting his car because he had no idea where his keys were nor did he have his wallet with money and credit cards.  I had never thought of that before but do now every time we are warned of severe weather in our area.

·         Precious Metals.  You may or may not have precious metals stored in your home (gold, silver, platinum, etc.).  The problem with metals is that they are heavy but if you have them stored in your home and you want to protect them from total loss, you must take them with you when you evacuate your home on a moment’s notice.  Can you readily retrieve them or will you have to take the time to open a safe and retrieve them when you may not have the time to do so?  Just a question that needs to be asked and answered.

·         Important Personal Papers that you or your next of kin may need such as important military papers, employment retirement records, locations of safety deposit boxes if you have one or more of them, how to access your many computer websites and accounts along with passwords. 

On the subject of computers, I cannot overstate the importance of always backing up your computers.  I found the best way is to contract for an outside resource that automatically backs up your computer OFFSITE!  I have done so for decades and have TWICE used the service to recover my computer files.  Like insurance policies, the price of coverage is a cost that no one wants but when you need the service, it suddenly becomes PRICELESS. 

There are two steps that everyone should consider and not just dismiss them out of hand.  

First, it would not hurt to own a SAFE for your home.  If you have weapons, it goes without saying that the safest way to store your weapons would be to lock them away in a safe with very limited number of people having access.  A safe should be water and fire resistant.  The time you have to evacuate determines the usefulness of storing your most valuable items you want to take with you.  In the case of the California fires, would you have sufficient time to open your safe and place the items in a container large enough to carry with you?  

Second, and probably one of the best choices of all, is a medium to LARGE SIZE RECORDS CASE that is also water and fire resistant.  I purchased one online for less than $30.00 and it comes with a combination lock that would delay access but certainly not limit the access to the items contained therein.  

I went through what I consider the most valuable paperwork, credit cards, computer and website access information, and anything I thought I would want to take with me and placed them in this compact record bag.  I keep the bag very near my master bedroom.  I am able to grab it and run in just seconds as compared to trying to take the time to locate these documents that may have otherwise been filed in a filing cabinet in a different part of the house.  I have a very limited supply of precious metals and I keep it in separate case and keep both cases in the same location.  I can easily locale both bags and be out of the house in just seconds.  That is the way it should be. 

HAVE A PLAN!  Like most families, my family is spread over many States.  As such, everyone in the family should know where you would evacuate to if ever required.  Your location may change depending upon the reason for evacuating.  Immediately following Hurricane Katrina, the cell phones didn’t work for weeks as a phone but did work to send text messages; never did understand why the difference.  You should either establish a place where you can all meet up or that everyone knows WHERE you will be. They may not be able to reach you by cell phone but at least they will know where to begin their search for you.  You should alert members of your family that you ARE evacuating the moment you make the decision to leave and before the phone service is cut.

 

GOOD LUCK!