On Being The Friendliest
By Jim “Gymbeaux” Brown, February 16, 2017
Disclaimer: There was a time in my life when I took Jeffrey Gitomer’s words from his book, The Little Gold Book of YES!Attitude to heart. I have read the book at least 6 times and have listened to it on CD even more times in my car. There was a time when a friend of mine called just to tell me that he called on that day just to hear the positive attitude in my voice because I always had one and he needed a lift. That was then, this is now. On February 16, 2017 I realized I had slipped away a great distance from that type of attitude and while I can offer you many reasons why, it is safe to say that the primary reason has been the world of politics. I had a belief that something I had to say or something that I had given a lot of thought to regarding world politics would make a difference in our world. On this day I realized just how fruitless that belief actually was. So on February 16, 2017, I officially resigned from being the Chief Executive Officer of the World. I would strongly recommend others give serious consideration of doing the same. If there is one thing I am certain, there cannot be two or more or as I have discovered Millions who feel they too can be the CEO of the World.
Initial Thoughts on Friendliest: When I first read this quote from Gitomer, my initial thought was that becoming the “friendliest” person would mean becoming a person that other people would want to be around; being someone people would seek out to be uplifted by just by “being around.”
From Orison Swett Marden’s book, Cheerfulness as a Life Power, “He alone is the happy man who has learned to extract happiness, not from ideal conditions, but from the actual ones about him. The man who has mastered the secret will not wait for ideal surroundings; he will not wait until next year, next decade, until he gets rich, until he can travel abroad, until he can afford to surround himself with works of the great masters; but he will make the most out of life today, where he is.”
“Where he is!” That is the key. Not where you wish you were or how you wish things were, but where you are right now! If you take the time to look around “where you are”, you will discover that there are many things that you should be grateful for but so often take for granted or simply overlook. Again, there was a time, way back when, when I carried a “gratitude stone” with me. It was a great habit, past tense. It was nothing more than a glass rock purchased from a local Hobby Lobby store. The premise was simple. You carry the gratitude stone with you EVERYWHERE you go. You kept it in your pocket or your purse and EVERYTIME you saw, felt or touched it, you paused and gave thanks for something in your life at that moment in time. It could be something as simple as just being able to breathe or it might be the car you are driving, your spouse, your children, your home or a cold glass of water. The point is that there are always things, hundreds of things that you can be immediately grateful for. Pause and think about those things when you can and then give thanks they are in your life.
Why? Because it is impossible to hold two opposing thoughts at the same time or at least that is my belief. If you are constantly giving gratitude for what you have in your life, you have no time for thoughts of any other kind. I found myself listening and watching the news and the news is horrible; always has been, always will be; if it bleeds, it leads! With the advent of cable news, we now have access to the news 24 hours a day. As an example, for the past two hours I have not watched or listened to the news for even one second. I have no idea what the President Trump haters or lovers are doing; they are going to do it whether I agree with them or not. I don’t know what the Russians are doing or the North Koreans or the Iranians. I only know what I have been doing – listening to good music and thinking about writing this Nugget. Pretty simple and a better expenditure of my time than watching the misery on TV or listening to it on the Radio or scanning and responding to the numerous Facebook posts.
What do I hope to accomplish: It is important for me to always be aware that what someone else thinks of me is none of my business; regardless! Is also critical to be aware not to give people a reason to think unkindly of me. If I can convince just one person that there is a better way to achieve happiness and success by being grateful thus friendly; I will have succeeded. Maybe that one person will be you.
Gratitude Stone Learn More: If you want to learn more about the Gratitude Stone, I encourage you to go to http://freespirituality.com/what-is-a-gratitude-stone/ where you can read what Tara Walker has written.
Conclusion: I believe that to be the “friendliness” person you must first be a person of gratitude for all that is good in your life and in the world. Moving from where I had TEMPORARILY landed to where I NEED to PERMANENTLY be will not be easy and will require a constant reminder – a gratitude stone. This time I have given up my ruby red gratitude glass stone and replaced it with a U. S. Coast Guard Commemorative Coin. Why? First it is heavy so I will always know that it is in my pocket. Secondly because it represents some of the happiest and most content days of my life while serving in the U. S. Coast Guard and starting my family. I’ll see it every morning as I remove it from my dresser and put it in my pocket. I will feel it in my pocket all day long and every time I put my hand in my pocket. I will see it the last thing every evening as I replace it on top of my dresser until the next morning. And every time I see, feel or touch it I WILL pause to give thanks and be grateful for what I have. I WILL return to my roots of working on a positive attitude by once again becoming grateful for what I have.
Action Plan: I will…
- Carry my Coast Guard Coin with me at all times
- Pause and give thanks for that which I have in my life
- Greet everyone, no exceptions, with a smile and a good morning, afternoon or evening
- Pause BEFORE I answer the phone to clear my mind, smile and then answer the phone
- LISTEN to people before I think about what I will say next; wait for my turn to talk
- Imagine everyone with a forehead tattoo that reads: WCILFTP, (What can I learn from this person?)
- Get back to the habit of asking people questions about their lives
- Spend more time listening to good music
- Return to the habit of reading at least two books a month; less time watching television, except for Elementary, Elementary is fascinating as are most shows on the History Channel
- Return to the habit of writing “thinking of you” note cards and sending them out daily
- Add to this list as situations arise