Life Is Like A Colander!
Article by: Jim “Gymbeaux” Brown, 5/23/2008
Imagine if you would that your life is like a colander (strainer). As water is being poured into the top, it comes out the holes in the sides and bottom. As long as the flow of water is steady, your life’s colander is capable of handling the input. But what happens if more water enters the colander than can be discarded out the holes? The water begins to flow over the rim and onto the floor.
What does that have to do with life? I thought you would never ask. Before I answer that question, I would like to refer you to the person responsible for this Nugget, Bill Harris at www.CenterPointe.com. If you visit the site, you can sign up for a free Center Pointe newsletter. The site’s primary product, however, involves Holosync technology that I will explain later in this Nugget.
Back to the colander. According to Bill Harris we each have an “internal map of realty” that we created early in life. This map helps us to determine what we believe and disbelieve. We refer to it every time we are faced with a new situation. The map tends to direct the outcomes of our thoughts based upon these beliefs. The problem is that many of these beliefs may be inaccurate but we live our lives and form our opinions on them nonetheless.
Now think of our internal map of realty as being the colander. We take in information and let is swirl around in the colander and then we also let it escape out the holes using what we need and discarding the rest. When the input of water becomes so great the colander no longer can handle the input. We then have two choices, we can either turn off the input (not a good idea) or we can get a larger colander (a much better idea). Using water and the colander, it is easy to recognize that to handle a larger flow of water we simply go to the store to purchase a larger colander. But if the colander represents our internal map of realty, what we believe to be true, how can we enlarge our map to accommodate life’s increased flow (which could be related to stress producing activities).
During a Bill Harris seminar he explained that our “internal map of realty” is much like a real road map complete with color symbols that clearly show us the way from point A to point B. It also shows us such things as camp sites, national parks, historical sites, etc. I found it interesting that he also said that while we know a camp site is present on the map as depicted by the colorful diamond, we cannot camp on the diamond; we just know it is there. What the “map” does NOT show us are the things that life throws in our path such as “bridge out”, “road construction”, “floods”, “snow storms”, etc.
If there is one thing I would change regarding what I have learned from Center Pointe thus far it would be to add two words to the term “internal map of realty” and those words would be “limiting beliefs”. Thus it would read “internal realty map of limiting beliefs” because that is exactly what our internal map of realty truly is – limiting beliefs. Until I began listening and reading the material from Center Pointe I did not realize just how deep these limiting beliefs can be and how effectively they do their work without me realizing just how effective they were.
I find it much easier to teach from personal experiences and then telling my story to others. So let me give you some “for instances” to consider:
#1: Keller Williams Realty International initially said that every local Market Center should shoot for 100 agents; then it was 200 and now there are Market Centers with 300, 400 and even 600 agents working from one office. My internal map of realty kept reminding me that in my local market area there were only 500 to 550 locally licensed real estate agents. To acquire even 100 would have meant that we would have had 20% of the available agents. My “map” kept reminding me subconsciously that having 20% of the total was impossible. Now here is the “cruncher”, if my subconscious mind truly believed that, it would therefore find a way to make it right; and, it was working perfectly without me even realizing it. Now to be honest, it is still very hard for me to fully grasp ever having 600 agents in a Board of Realtors that only has 550 but then I never thought I would be able to have a fully functional computer that would fit in of my hand either.
#2: I have been in some form of personnel management position for the past 35 years and have studied management during that time. Therefore my “management colander” had been formulated long ago and my map firmly entrenched in my subconscious mind. For example in the military they referred to a term called “span of control” and that simply meant that no one person was given more people to manage than the person was capable of managing. Now move forward 30 or so years to the present. I am the Team Leader for 75 real estate agents and 4 employees (well on my way to the initial 100 agents of the original goal). By any military or business standard, being directly responsible for managing 75 people without any help would NOT be considered a good business practice – span of control. Therefore I have two forces working against growing my Market Center to 100 or 200 agents – my internal belief that there were simply not enough agents to accomplish this and more importantly, if I am overwhelmed by managing 75 people why would I want to acquire another 75 or more people before I could expect help?
#3: Prior to Hurricane Katrina we had 72 agents and at least 12 agents on the verge of joining our Market Center. Then when Katrina struck, we lost 15 agents who decided not to return to our area and the 12 that were coming either did not come or at least postponed their joining our company. Although my own personal home was unbelievably undamaged as was the Market Center building, Katrina affected me in other ways. Before I continue I want you to remember that prior to Katrina, my colander was close to the rim with “stuff” in my life. Lots of agents, lots of related real estate problems created by the agents and their business, lots of demands on my time, etc. I realized long ago after reading the book, “Men From Mars; Women From Venus” written by Dr. John Gray, that I was a Mr. Fixit type personality. Bring me a problem and I would fix it. When Katrina struck and I was faced with all the visual images of miles and miles of destruction, and when agent after agent, and customer after customer told me their story of devastation and loss, my colander overflowed and has been overflowing ever since. I realized that there was very little I could personally fix but my internal map of realty did not have a road leading in that direction; I was still on the road from Point A to Point B which required fixing the problems and I did not know how to handle it.
What to do?
I couldn’t run to the store for a larger colander. The only way to turn off the flow was to quit. By the way, quitting was not on my road map either so it was not a choice. I was not aware of it but depression had taken hold of my psychic. Depression in this case was simply having a colander that was not able to handle and disperse all the input it was receiving. I desperately needed a larger colander and that meant changing my internal realty map of limiting beliefs. It took years and years to create my existing map, how do you change it over night? It was not just a case of self-talk – I tried that. I kept saying to myself that I can handle all this stress. It became obvious that this self-talk was not working. Remember it was years and years of self-talk and education both formal and informal that created my map and I had no idea of what was going to change my map at this point in my life. I did understand that nothing was going to change until I somehow changed my internal map of reality.
I knew I had to change my subconscious mind but I did not know how. Again, the self-talk was not working. I am not a doctor, therefore what I am about to tell you is simply my experience. I am relating all this personal information because I know I am not the only one that has limiting beliefs or is overwhelmed by the stresses of life. Maybe this Nugget will help others or at least make others aware of the effect our internal map of realty has on our actions or inactions.
Enter CenterPointe.com. I purchased the program and began religiously following the instructions. It has been about 6 weeks and I have noticed some small but important changes. The stress is still flowing into my colander but I have realized on many occasions that my reaction to the stress has been significantly different than prior to starting the program. Rather than immediately responding to an incident I am actually sitting still, not immediately responding and literally watching my own reactions (witnessing as Harris puts it) and THEN formulating a response.
Center Pointe uses a system called Holosync sound waves that without going into a lot of technical detail causes your brain to rethink itself and create connectors between the left half the brain and the right half. This simply causes your brain to reorganize itself. I prefer to call it reorganization of my subconscious mind or in my terms – purchasing a larger colander. While it has only been six weeks, I believe it is working and while spending one hour a day listening to a CD would not have been on my daily schedule, I have not missed a day. In a life as busy as mine, that is saying a lot.
This is not an advertisement for Center Point and/or Holosync (OK maybe it is). I would prefer to think of this Nugget as an awakening to how to better deal with stressful situations that may seem to be overwhelming you like they have me. Hopefully confession IS good for the soul.
As I wrote this, my attention was drawn to a very large stuffed Monkey sitting atop of my bookcase. Funny, I had forgotten about the Monkey; it was given to me by the Commanding Officer of a Coast Guard Cutter in Texas. He called me one day and said I seemed to be a little stressed out. I explained to him that I was having problems terminating a Coast Guardsman’s career because he used drugs. That one indiscretion was grounds for throwing away a multi-year career. I was not against the policy, on the contrary, I supported it 100%; it was just tough telling a member and his family they are no longer welcomed to serve their country. The next day the Commanding Officer visited me carrying this very large brown stuffed monkey. As he handed it to me he used the moment as a teachable moment when he said, “Jim, I have a policy with my crew. Each crew member is welcome to visit me with their problems (their monkey on their back). But when they leave, they need to take THEIR monkey with THEM rather than leaving it with me!” He gave me the monkey as a reminder of his policy. One of life’s little lesson’s that apparently did not stick as it passed through my colander.
The Lesson. I am not alone. You are not alone. There is no need to let life’s stresses work you over unless you want them to. I chose to use the Center Pointe program because I do not believe in taking medication for every problem I face. Medication tends to treat the symptom rather than the problem. Medication would not provide me with a larger colander; it would have just enlarged the holes. To truly treat the problem, I needed a larger colander and that required destroying my internal beliefs and creating new beliefs. I think I have found the solution in Center Pointe; maybe you would as well.